Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Really Bad Hump Day Poem, from Me to You

So, last night on Twitter, I asked if you'd rather see a cute camel picture here today, OR a cute camel picture AND a really bad poem.

(Yeah, I know. I blame the alcohol.)

Anyway, it was unanimous among those who participated in my Manhattan-induced poll. Allow me to apologize in advance.

Seriously, I'm so sorry. (Not for the picture. It's adorable. For the poem. It's dreck.) 




If . . .


If I gave you a flower, would you be my friend?
Would you write a sweet email, and then click on "send"?

Would you laugh at my jokes and pretend that you care?
If I forgot to wear pants, would you try not to stare?

If I asked you to swim, would you jump in my pond?
If I wound up in jail, would YOU post my bond?

If I cooked you a meal, would you act like it's good?
Even if it doesn't taste quite like it should?

If I gave you a flower, would that be enough?
Or do I have to come up with money and stuff?

THE END*


*Possibly of my whole writing career. . . 

21 comments:

Kimberly Sabatini said...

This is obviously a cry for help...and I'm here for you. ((((hugs)))

Linda G. said...

ROF,L! Um, yeah. Thanks! *grin*

Delia said...

LOL For a flower? I'm not sure. For chocolate, maybe. ;)

Patty Blount said...

Oh, I would TOTALLY click Send for you. OK, so it's the title of my novel, but still, I would. And I always laugh at your jokes and actually do care. But sorry, there is no way I can forgive the pants thing.

Karla Nellenbach said...

a friend, if you forgot to wear pants, i wouldn't stare. but as a really, really, really good friend, i would point, laugh, and bring it to the attention of everyone around us. cuz...you know...that's what true friends do, and i, my friend, am the best. you're welcome ;)

ps. i agree with kimberly. this is a cry for help, but unlike her, i dont offer hugs. friend or not.

Teri Anne Stanley said...

Wow...maybe you should start a 'really bad poem' blog fest...

abby mumford said...

a poem for me? and it's not even valentine's day. how sweet you are! i think you're onto something... more manhattan fueled poems for everyone!

Kristina L. Martin said...

I don't know Linda, seems like this poem just might be the catalyst for taking your writing career to a whole new level. I'm thinking Norton Anthology...

You deserve lots and lots of flowers. And not those gorgeous yellow "perennials" that folks pull out of their front yards either! :)

Diane Henders said...

Hey, what are you doing posting doggerel verse on camel day?

Just kidding - your poem is very sweet. But the pants thing? Sorry, I'd probably stare. And laugh. But I'd also lend you a pair of pants. :-)

Michele Shaw said...

Well, doesn't everybody need someone willing to post bail? Duh! I'm totally there for ya, Linda;)

Carol Kilgore said...

Yeah, well, I was gonna ask what was in the soup, but I decided I didn't want to know :)

You got stuff???

Patsy said...

Yeah a flower will definitely do it - you don't need to write any more poems, OK?

Judy,Judy,Judy. said...

I'm so glad that other people were twittering and answering your poll. If it were up to me we would have missed this lovely poem. Tragic.
Next week could we have a camel and a song? You could youtube it. Or you being an actress, what about a camel and a monologue?

Linda G. said...

Huh. Funny how nobody is arguing with me about it being a bad poem... *grin*

Dianne K. Salerni said...

If you forgot to wear pants, I would pull you aside and whisper your mistake in your ear.

But as for that poem -- did you write it before or after you started drinking?

Hallie Sawyer said...

It's perfect. :)

Happy hump day!

Come At Me Bro said...

This is great!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I thought your poem was adorable, but I was still a little disappointed. Not ONE mention of a camel in the whole darned poem.

Jen Stayrook said...

Cash up front, then you'll get the flower. In the mail.

<3

Sarah Pearson said...

I probably wouldn't be able to post your bond because I'd be sitting there in jail next to you. Pantsless.

Geoffrey Cubbage said...

Ooh, how about a poem ABOUT a camel for next week?

I'd offer one, bu the only one I know starts out 'The sexual life of the camel..." and goes downhill from there.