On Grindstones and Dialogue

Hi there. You may have noticed I haven't been around much this week. That's because I've been playing hooky with my family for the holidays keeping my nose to the copy-edit grindstone.

 

Okay, maybe a little of both.

In any case, I'm still over at the Debutante Ball. If you click here, you can read my take on playing with myself. I mean, talking to myself. Er, dialogue.

Happy Friday! :)

On your mark...get set...PANIC SHOP!!

Yes, it's time for my annual tradition of running from store to store, frantically scooping up last-minute gifts and party supplies for our big Glöggfest. (Glögg is the Swedish mulled wine we make every year, following the traditions of my Viking ancestors.)

BUT -- through the magic of the internet -- while I'm out panic shopping (truly an adrenaline rush), you can visit me at The Debutante Ball, where I'm talking about this fantastic book:

Speaking of which, I think I just had a great idea for some of those last minute gifts!

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, whatever you celebrate. See you on the other side!

Happy Humpidays!

It's time for me to unveil my very favorite camels ever:

 

These were carved by TG's grandfather, Old Pap. (If you'd care to see more of Old Pap's carvings, you can look here.) We've had these camels forever, and always display them prominently at Christmas.

Okay, the one in the front isn't a camel. Obvi. It's a donkey with a rider. Somebody has to lead those camels around.

And that's a brass and crystal Nativity scene on the humidor behind the camels. In case you couldn't tell.

(No, I didn't put away the humidor for Christmas. Yes, I'm lazy.)

Oh, and that's not a real guitar. It's the miniature one I got TG one Christmas to represent the guitar I was really giving him. I know nothing about guitars, and thought he should pick out his own, so I very cleverly wrapped the tiny one, thus keeping him guessing about his real gift until Christmas morning. I may have even *cough* implied it was socks. Which was mean* of me, yes, but that's just the way I roll. Mean, mean, mean Linda. It's possible you've noticed this about me.

*But not that mean. Really mean would have been if it had actually been socks. Like I'm getting him this year, in case he's reading this. Reindeer socks. With bells.

(Hi, sweetie! *waves angelically*)

Do you have any decorations you drag out year after year, for whatever holiday you celebrate?

Or, if you're feeling confessional, what's the meanest gift you ever got for or from someone?

A Little Nerd-mas Cheer

I am a member of a family of nerds. Not only are we nerds, we are Proud Nerds!

We revel in our nerdiness, and often try to out-nerd each other. Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, video games -- you name it, some or all of us are into it.

So what does a nerdish family do together during the holiday season? Why, we alter the words the Christmas carols!

Here's one we worked on together the other night as we sat around the fire sipping adult beverages:

The Twelve Days of Christmas, Version Le Nerd

On the first day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

A cartridge for my A-tar-iii.

On the second day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

Two power gloves

And a cartridge for my A-ta-iii.

On the third day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

Three laser pens

Two power gloves

And cartridge for my A-tar-iii.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

Four angry birds

(Etc.)

On the fifth day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

Five ELV-ISH riiiings!

(Etc.)

On the sixth day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

Six geeks a-playing

(Etc.)

On the seventh day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me
Seven Wookiees winning

(Etc.)

On the eighth day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

Eight bards a-filking

(Etc.)

On the ninth day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

Nine knights a-lancing

(yadda-yadda-yadda...)

On the tenth day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me

Ten  Gollums creeping

(You know the drill...)

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true nerd gave to me
Eleven fanboys griping

(Um, yeah...)

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve warp-drives humming

Eleven fanboys griping,
Ten gollums creeping,
Nine Knights a-lancing,
Eight bards a-filking,
Seven Wookiees winning,
Six geeks a-playing,
Five ELV-ISH RINGS!
Four angry birds,
Three laser pens,
Two power gloves,
And a car-tridge for my A-TAR-III!!

Merry Nerdmas to All!

DETOUR!

Click Here*

*If you want to read about my wardrobe malfunction. Yes, it's Friday again. I'm over at The Debutante Ball, and this week's topic is wardrobe malfunctions. Stop by and say hi. I promise there are no frightening pictures.

And now, if you'll excuse me for a little while, I have to go get ready for these guys:

T

Those are my grand-kitties, Vera and Valentine. They'll be here later today, and are going to spend the holidays with us. Oh, and they're bringing my daughter and son-in-law with them, which I think is rather nice of them. :)

Have a great weekend!

NAUGHTY or NICE?

So, it's getting to be that time of year. The time for facing the consequences of a year's worth of behavior.

Yeah, the Big Guy in the Red Suit is watching, and he knows things.

Damn. It's enough to make you paranoid.

I, of course, have been an absolute angel.

Well, except for the drinking, eating junk when I really shouldn't, and the bad words.

Oh, and *cough* possibly some uncharitable thoughts about my fellow drivers and where I thought their final destination should be.

Perhaps embellished with a suggestion of what, er, "activity" they might enjoy once they got there. Explained with hand gestures. But, really, the hand gestures were just in case they didn't grasp my full meaning. Explaining things to the simple-minded is a kindness, right?  

All right, all right. Maybe I wasn't precisely an "angel." Maybe I even deserve a few lumps of coal in my stocking. But you know what?

Totally worth it!

How about you? Are you on Santa's Nice List or his Naughty List?

(Like how I snuck that camel in there? Happy Hump Day!)

Mona-day

If you can't think of anything intelligent to say, just smile enigmatically and make people wonder.

What was she thinking, do you suppose?

Personally, I believe it's something along the lines of, Damn it, Da Vinci, can you hurry the f*** up? I have to pee!

(Though probably not those exact words...)

But maybe I'm projecting onto her what I know I'd be thinking in her place.We're all guilty of that to a certain extent. I think. Then again, maybe I'm projecting...

Do ever project? And for the writers among you, do your characters ever project their own feelings, biases, etc., on other characters in your book?

I think (there I go thinking again!) the extent to which a character does or doesn't tend to project is one more tool a writer can use to add dimension to characterization.

Thoughts?

Privacy, Schmivacy...this is the Internet!

Everything you put online is saved, somewhere, for posterity. If you send your pixelated words into cyberspace, they will be preserved, ever available somewhere in that vast virtuality, for a clever someone to stumble upon.

Those drunk tweets? Uh-huh. They are now archived at the Library of Congress. Betcha didn't know you were that important, huh? Just think, future generations of Internet Archaeologists might read your Merlot mad-cappery!

Rather chilling, huh? Try not to think about it too much. I'd hate for you to get so paralyzed at the idea of cyber immortality that you're unable to comment here.

Or *cough* at the Debutante Ball, where I'm discussing privacy issues in social media. (Um, that sounds rather dry, doesn't it? I promise it's not quite as dull as I've just made it sound. I hope.)

So, tell me, have you ever sent words into cyberspace that you long to call back? Do you sometimes wish fervently for this:

Come on, spill! Inquiring minds want to know. :D

Grumpy Humpy Day! (With camels. Of course.)

Okay, everybody, sing along! It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Well, except when something ticks you off. Anyone else notice how quickly people can go from jolly

to Grinchy

in two seconds flat?

Especially in parking lots. Or store lines. Or at the post office.

Normally, I'm a pretty happy camel--er, woman. Yesterday, though, when TG and I were circling an extremely full parking garage, I noticed a car straddling the line between two parking places, obviously intentionally, taking up two spaces instead of one.

Now, it was a very fine car -- a Corvette, as a matter of fact -- and I can understand why the own wouldn't want to risk getting any dings in the paint from careless car-door-opening parking garage neighbors.

But DAY-AM, straddle-parkers!

Don't you know your risk of getting keyed for your inconsideration outweighs the chance of getting dinged? (Er, not that we *cough* did any such thing...)

Okay, so now you know one of my pet peeves. What about you? Anything get your blood up during this fine season? Any good tips on how to deal with it?

Return of the Verifictionary!

While I was slacking off on my blogging break several of my regular readers hinted they might be missing their regular infusion of entries for the Verifictionary.

(If you don't know about the Verifictionary, go here for the deets. Oh, and try to ignore how pathetically comment-free that post is. I was using the Intense Debate commenting system then, and when it crashed it ate all my comments. *sob*)

Anyway, I tried to keep up with commenting on other blogs while taking a small break from my own, and I collected some more those formerly-annoying-but-now-loads-of-fun verification "words" that supposedly keep the spam-bots away.

gramize – What happens to a woman when her child has a baby. Ex: "Just because I've been gramized doesn't make me old!"

labloozi – When your retriever can't fetch the duck. Opposite of "labwinni."

outdoe – Proud lesbian deer. 

outwish –What you do when you want your wish to be bigger and better than anyone else's.

pugstive – Feeling like a small, scrappy dog. Ex: "I'm feeling rather pugstive today, so don't cross me." 

rodion – Kept moving while mounted.  Ex: "I was ridin' my hoss and didn't want to stop, so I rodion."

sporb – Theoretical eating utensil. Similar to a spork, only spherical. (Though apparently, according to Wikipedia, "sporbs" are also creatures encountered by Samus in the Torvus Bog on Aether. I like my definition better.)

stsand –Patron saint of beach bunnies. 

stskid –The patron saint of winter drivers.

vanitype – Bragging via a keyboard. Ex: "I couldn't stop myself from vanityping about my book deal."

versick – Really twisted poetry.

There you are! I'm open to alternate definitions if any happen to occur to you. Real words can have more than one meaning. Why shouldn't Verifictionary words?

Otherwise, how the heck have you been doing? All is well in your world, I hope. :)

Quantum Ex"Q"ses.

Happy December! (I know. I'm a little late. It sort of snuck up on me.)

I was going to have a real blog post for you here today, but then it got to be today a lot faster than I anticipated it would. Funny how time speeds up around November/December every year.

I suspect it something to do with quantum mechanics. Or quantum physics. Or quantum holidays...one of the quantums, anyway.

Speaking of Q-words, we've been blogging about queries all week over at the Debutante Ball. If you'd like to see my take on what not to do, click here.

(By the way, have I told you how "Q"-t you look today? I love what you've done to your hair.)

So, how's time rolling along for you? Fast? Slow? Same as always?