On second thought, don't. Gutter-minded people are so entertaining. Let's all play with "willies"!
Here, I'll start:
There once was a discussion of willies--
Boy howdy, were there ever some dillies!
We all got to giggling
To think of them wiggling,
And came down with a case of the sillies!
Your turn. Got a willy story, joke, or poem for me? Leave it in the comments! Just try to keep it to the shallow end of the gutter. ;)
*AHEM* Now that we have that out of our systems, what I really meant was the kind of willies you get when something creeps you out.
THINGS THAT GIVE ME THE WILLIES:
Cockroaches -- Especially that pest control commercial where a human-sized cockroach is a woman's "date" at a dinner table. When its v-shaped pincers stroke her, it makes me shudder every time.
Spiders -- Really, who doesn't get the willies from spiders?
Other people's snot -- I mean, eeuuww. Yuck. (Mine I can handle. Well, not handle handle, but deal with.)
Wet public bathroom floors -- This one I sometimes have nightmares about. Ones where I'm barefoot. *cringes*
Shark eyes -- They look so...dead. And like they'd love you to join them.
Television evangelists -- I think it's the hair.
That cup people who chew tobacco carry around with them to spit into -- Gag.
High bridges -- Especially if they're too long for me to hold my breath as I cross them.
The sound of the phone ringing in the middle of the night -- Because who calls you with good news in the middle of the night? The best you can hope for is a wrong number.
Christopher Walken in most of his roles -- Nothing against him personally. I mean, I've never met the man. He could be a perfect sweetie-pie. But, whoa. In the movies? Creep out time.
So, what gives you the willies? Don't worry. I won't use it against you. (Much.)
P.S. I was going to use pictures to illustrate this post, but yeah....the thought of it gave me the willies.