Tuesday, August 10, 2010

A Caption Contest! (Subtitled: Hooray! Another freakin' contest!)

[You can't say I didn't warn you about the impending pet pictures.]

This is Clancy, my all-time favorite cat, and his being dead doesn't alter that. He was the best cat that ever lived, and I miss him horribly.

So, cheer me up! Invent a creative caption for this picture. The squirrel behind the glass was part friend, part nemesis to Clancy. It showed up at the window bird feeder every day, and drove him crazy with its lack of fear. Taunted him, really. But it was entertainment for good old Clancy Doodle Dandy.

RULES: Share your caption in the comments. (Short and sweet is fine, but if you want to develop a longer dialogue between cat and squirrel, that's cool too.)

That's it. That's all you have to do. Entertain me!

The winner will be chosen on a purely subjective basis: whichever caption I like the best. Hint: my tastes run to funny, but sometimes I can be moved by pure sentiment.

The contest is open to everyone. If the winner lives outside the States, it may take a while for the prize to arrive, since I will mail it the cheapest way possible, but it will get there. :)

In case of a tie, the winner will be decided by random launch of the names from a catapult we happen to have in the garage. (Honestly? I'm kinda hoping for a tie. I'd like to get out the catapult and play with it.)

Contest will close at midnight, Tuesday Aug. 17, and the winner will be announced as soon thereafter as I can decide. Shouldn't take long.

PRIZE: the Raise the Roof CD. It's a sampling of the various artists who've played the Barns at Wolf Trap, the venue where TG works, and it was produced by the theater god himself. All songs were recorded live right there the Barns.

If you want to see a listing of the songs, you can look here.

P.S. As I promised, Clancy is a still-alive pet in that picture. And even in these, regardless of how he may look:

And in this one, he only wished he were dead:

I will consider offering extra credit if you add a caption for it, too.


LR said...

Squirrel: "What did you want me to get again?"

Cat: "Hazelnuts! And make it snappy. I wanna bake this cake before Christmas."

Jessica Lemmon said...

Cat: "When can you bust me outta here. I'm innocent I tell ya! Innocent!"

Squirrel: "Hold onto your nuts! I'm workin' on it... stashed a metal file in your catnip."

Bill Cameron said...

"What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Clancy is the sun."

Unknown said...

Squirrel: Let me show you my Price Is Right model imitation. 'Here we have a lovely bird feeder...wait! there are no birds in it!"

Clancy: *burps and feather pops out of his mouth* What do you think I did to get locked up in this joint? And, as an added punishment, they dress me up in pink bunny costumes.

Squirrel: *nodding sympathetically* That is cruel and unusual...Well, it's been fun but gotta go.

Clancy: Wait! Don't leave me locked up in here with these crazy people!

Squirrel: *as he scampers away* Don't do the crime if you can't do the time! *evil laughter*

Clancy: *shakes fist...er paw* Just you wait till I get out of here! I won't forget this!

muffintopmommy said...

Clancy: I promise..we will be together one day, my love.

Squirrel: Are you sure? But...but... what will the other cats and squirrels say? We're...from different worlds.

Clancy: Screw 'em all! Love is all that matters! They used to say people of different faiths couldn't marry, and look! Then they tried to say different races couldn't marry, and look! Love conquers all and we will have our day!

Squirrel: I love you, Clancy. You are such a mensch. You? Complete me.

Bonus round:
Can you believe how I have to whore myself out for a little cat nap? I swear, this is my last gig. I swear! No more tricks!

muffintopmommy said...

Ok, above in bonus round, cat nap was supposed to read cat nip. Where is my copy editor!!! Good help is hard to find!

Karen Jones Gowen said...

I am horrible at coming up with captions, but I think your contest name is hilarious!

kristina said...

Clancy: "My precioussssss..."
Squirrel: "What do I have in my cheeks?"


Caption: If it weren't for Clancy's little operation, the squirrel wouldn't be the only guy with nuts.

Please exclude my entry from the competition, however. I've won too many contests lately and I'm beginning to fear for my life.


abby mumford said...

Clancy: Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, Linda, a squirrel. *scratches window* Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel.

Squirrel: I'm ready for ya. Put 'em up, Fat Cat, put 'em up.

Susan Adrian said...

Squirrel: Come on now. It's just a step to the left. And then a step to the right...


Unknown said...

I quit, you cheatin' squirrel -- you're always scissors! ...You know my paw can't shoot anything but paper...

Jason Beymer said...

Squirrel wished for a world where cats and squirrels frolicked on the beach, paw in paw.

Cat wished someone would open the damn window.

Anonymous said...

"I shit you not, Clancy. We jump out of a tall tree, spread our arms and legs, and float gently to a waiting branch. What say I open this window and you give it a try?"

Shadow said...

Squirrel: Hey, cat, Dude, tell your human to buy more sunflower seeds. This milo-mix is for the f'n songbirds!

Clancy: Why you! No one speaks ab out my Linda that way!

Bonus round:

Now that I am in this circus, how do I get out?

Elizabeth Ryann said...

Squirrels in glass houses shouldn't throw nuts. They'd dress you up in the big house, too, don't think they wouldn't.

Jessica Lemmon said...

CAN I VOTE TOO?? ~Nicole Ducleroir~ absolutely cracked me up.

I had to explain in detail, the pic, the contest & the comment to my confused husband.

Linda G. said...

Thank you all for participating -- these are high-larious! I'm having a blast reading them.

Keep 'em coming! :)

Sierra Godfrey said...

Squirrel: Hello. I'd like to talk to you about the book of Mormon.

Kelly Breakey said...

Okay, in John Travolta's voice with the music from the song "Sandy" from the Grease soundtrack playing in the background:

Stranded on the outside, branded a fool, what will they say Monday at squirel school?

Clancy, can't you see, I'm in misery. We made a start, now we're apart, there's nothin' left for me

Love has flown all alone,I sit and wonder why-y-y, oh why you left me, oh Clancy.

Oh Clancy, maybe someday, when squirrel school is done
Somehow, someway, our two worlds will be one.

In heaven forever and ever we will be, oh please say you'll stay, oh

Clancy my darlin', you hurt me real bad, you know it's true
But baby, you gotta believe me when I say, I'm helpless without you

Love has flown all alone, I sit, I wonder why-y-y oh why you
left me, oh Clancy Clancy,
Clancy, why-y-y-y,
oh Clancy

If I could have added music I would have.

Elisabeth Black said...

I can't do funny on queue, it gives me and everyone else indigestion when I try, but I vote for Bill's.

P.S. That is a huge squirrel.

Anonymous said...

Like you said 'another frikin contest'. I don't enter any, anymore. And I'm sorry I didn't read this blog post. I just want to know when your book comes out, Linda! :)

Anonymous said...

I only didn't read that post, because it was a contest post. But I read all your other posts! Well, Most of them. I'm just saying. You don't have info on your publishing deal in your side bar or anything. Do you? Am I missing something? I'm always missing something! Sorry.

Linda G. said...

Suz -- You should at least read the captions, even if you don't want to enter. They're hilarious!

My book is currently on submission--my agent is working hard to find it a good home. Don't worry--I'll let everyone know when it sells. :)

Bess Weatherby said...

Hi! I'm new to the blog world, and I love your posts! So cute :) Here's my entry -

Clancy: "The window again! You know, our relationship would be so much easier if we had thumbs."

Linda G. said...

Hi, Bess! Welcome to the blogosphere. Glad you're enjoying my posts. Great entry! :)

Thanks again to everyone who's entered so far! I'm loving it.

Steph Schmidt said...

Squirrel: What do you mean cut the red wire? All I see are nuts!!