Recently I've taken some ribbing on Twitter about my bad-assedness. Or apparent lack thereof.
Well, maybe not total lack. More like my bad-assedness is "cute" or "sweet" or "adorable." Which kind of takes the teeth out of it, yannoh? Makes it anemic. Hell, it pretty much neuters it.
But, if I'm totally honest, my Twitter-kidders (you know who you are!) are probably right.
Yes, I admit it. *clears throat* I am a Bad-ass Wannabe.
The inner me may be clad in black leather, with every square inch of epidermis body-pierced and tattooed, but the outer me is rocking the mom jeans and tastefully artistic earrings. I tried a temporary tattoo once, but the kids told me Bambi looked silly on me, so I washed it off.
I know. Sad.
So, since I suck at being a Bad-ass, I've decided to audition some other kinds of asses. These are ones that made the callbacks:
Kick-ass -- akin to bad-ass, only more superhero and less Hell's Angel.
Lazy-ass -- this one is tempting, if only because it allows for lounging in my PJs until late in the day.
Sorry-ass -- possibly reserved for days when I just can't get the words down in the WIP, or can't think of a decent blog topic. It could be an understudy, waiting in the wings to go on when the main-ass is out of commission.
Dumb-ass -- we've all been there, right? Please tell me I'm not the only one who does dumb-ass stuff, like drive all the way to the grocery only to realize I've left my wallet at home.
Raggedy-ass -- perfectly suitable for the days I haven't done laundry (and so have to resort to wearing the stuff from the back of the closet), or showered, or washed my hair...you get the picture.
Smart-ass -- okay, I think I have this one nailed, though I could be wrong. But I'm willing to give it plenty of rehearsal.
So, if you had to pick an ass (tee-hee), which would it be? One of these, or perhaps one I've forgotten to mention? Please tell me in the comments. Come on, don't be shy!