Monday, August 23, 2010


Last week, when I was nagging you all to enter my Dead Pets Caption Contest, I added an impromptu Sur-PRIZE Caption Contest, wherein a randomly selected commenter would win a surprise prize.


As you can see, it is actually THREE prizes in one:

  • First, a plastic container of FLARP!, an incredible gooey substance that makes rude sounds when you squeeze it.
  • Second, a genuine VINTAGE (or so it says) peg board game, all the way from CHINA!
  • And third, CHAMPAGNE BUBBLES! (Yes, you can really blow bubbles with an itty-bitty bubble wand--wand INCLUDED.)

Uh-huh. Bet you're sorry you didn't enter now, aren't ya? Remember that next time I have a Sur-PRIZE contest.

How the random WINNER was selected:

First, I wrote all five names on pieces of paper of exactly equal sizes from a sticky pad that says "My Blood Type is Coffee."

Then I wrapped each piece of paper around a liqueur-filled chocolate miniature. Me + chocolate + liqueur. What could be more appropriate? (Liqueurs and I have a complicated relationship.)

You might say I already have a certain aptitude for *cough* hurling liqueurs, but what I wanted was a launch mechanism that didn't involve a trip through my alimentary canal. So TG retrieved the catapult he helped DD build (a middle school physics project) from the garage rafters.

The candy to fly the farthest would be the winner!

TG volunteered to do be trigger man, because I didn't want my unpainted toenails to show up in the pic. (He didn't care if his unpainted toenails showed up.) We launched all five liqueur-candy missiles from precisely the same spot.

And the WINNER is... *drum roll*...

(In the picture it kind of looks like one went a little bit farther, but that's just the piece of candy from the test launch. TG can verify that Jessica is the actual winner, in case any of the other entrants try to challenge the findings. You know, given the extreme coolitude of the prizes and all...)

So, Jessica, if you will DM me on Twitter with your address, I will put your sur-prize in the mail. :)


muffintopmommy said...

You are too funny. How did I ever miss this? ~smacks forehead~ Really, more than winning, I so wish I was there to see you choose the winner!

Jessica Lemmon said...

OMG, this is the best way to pick a prize winner, well, EVER. I guess Fate had it in the cards for me, and I for one, am excited about the FLARP!

LOL, you crack me up.

Steph Schmidt said...

Epically nerdy way to pick a contest winner. Please excuse me as I go kick myself for not entering.

GĂ©nette Wood said...

I just love how you and Tawna manage to choose your winners. You two make my world go round sometimes. My physics class was never that cool.

Candyland said...

Wow this is elaborate! Ummm I knew I forgot to enter something... #candylandfail

Elizabeth Ryann said...

Hahahahaha. So awesome. I'd challenge just on general grounds, but I don't think my comment really should've counted in the first place, so I'll let Jessica keep the sur-prize she's earned. THIS TIME. :)

demery said...

congratulations to jessica! linda - FUNNY :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, Linda, you have a lot of time on your hands. Angry I missed the contest...I'll be here next time!

Linda G. said...

Muffintopmommy -- I'll let you know the next time we drag out the catapult. You can come over. We'll make it a Beer Occasion in your honor. :)

Jessica -- LOL! Have fun with FLARP! It's freaky stuff.

SM -- Ya snooze, ya looze. ;) But never fear, I'm sure I'll be holding another contest in the future. Just as soon as I think up some tacky enough sur-PRIZES.

LadyGenette -- Thanks! I'm happy to be directly involved in anyone's world-spinning. :)

Candyland -- There's always next time! :)

Elizabeth -- So very magnanimous of you. Hey, are you trying to make me look bad because I'm such a sore loser in your contests? ;)

demery -- Thanks! Glad I could give you a laugh. :)

trishaleigh -- If there's one thing I've learned from Star Trek, it's that time is warpable. And sometimes you HAVE to warp it to include the fun stuff. And I WILL hold another Sur-PRIZE contest, with equally cool (ha!) prizes, so stay tuned. :)

Elizabeth Ryann said...

Well, of course.

Adriana said...

This has nothing to do with anything, but I used to have a stack of these exact same post-its! I bought them together with a stack that said "Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you" -- which I used to post on my dorm room door, because me and two of my apartment mates were journalism majors... Ah, memories... But seriously. What an awesome way to pick a winner!


This is hilarious! You did eat the candy later, right?!


Linda G. said...

Elizabeth -- Uh-huh. I suspected as much. But at least you own up to it. ;)

Adriana -- Thanks! And I love your "Anything you say..." post-its--too funny.

Tawna -- But of course. Well, except for one that exploded on impact. TG said it would be gauche to lick it off the blacktop.