Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Wednesday Willies

No, not that kind of willies. Get your mind out of the gutter.

On second thought, don't. Gutter-minded people are so entertaining. Let's all play with "willies"!

Here, I'll start:

There once was a discussion of willies--
Boy howdy, were there ever some dillies!
We all got to giggling
To think of them wiggling,
And came down with a case of the sillies!

Your turn. Got a willy story, joke, or poem for me? Leave it in the comments! Just try to keep it to the shallow end of the gutter. ;)

*AHEM*  Now that we have that out of our systems, what I really meant was the kind of willies you get when something creeps you out.


Cockroaches -- Especially that pest control commercial where a human-sized cockroach is a woman's "date" at a dinner table. When its v-shaped pincers stroke her, it makes me shudder every time.

Spiders -- Really, who doesn't get the willies from spiders? 

Other people's snot -- I mean, eeuuww. Yuck. (Mine I can handle. Well, not handle handle, but deal with.)

Wet public bathroom floors -- This one I sometimes have nightmares about. Ones where I'm barefoot. *cringes* 

Shark eyes -- They look so...dead. And like they'd love you to join them.

Television evangelists -- I think it's the hair. 

That cup people who chew tobacco carry around with them to spit into -- Gag. 

High bridges -- Especially if they're too long for me to hold my breath as I cross them. 

The sound of the phone ringing in the middle of the night -- Because who calls you with good news in the middle of the night? The best you can hope for is a wrong number. 

Christopher Walken in most of his roles -- Nothing against him personally. I mean, I've never met the man. He could be a perfect sweetie-pie. But, whoa. In the movies? Creep out time.

So, what gives you the willies? Don't worry. I won't use it against you. (Much.)

P.S. I was going to use pictures to illustrate this post, but yeah....the thought of it gave me the willies. 


stagemanbob said...

Little Willy saw some dynamite,
Didn't understand it quite.
Curiosity never pays,
It rained Willies seven days.

Kimberly Sabatini said...

That's a GOOD for me. You forgot the snakes. *shiver* and the very worst...something bad almost happening to your kid-complete incapacitation.

Speaking of kids-my three boys were chatting one day and I was "listening in" They often think that if you can't see them, you can't hear them. They were discussing how they had proof that boys were superior to girls. The answer being that boys had "willies" and girls just peed out of holes. There you have it.

abby mumford said...

now kim's got quite the willy story right there. HA. i don't have anything quite as fun -- just that i hate when people read over my shoulder. GAH. ick.

Summer Frey said...

Roaches for sure, along with silverfish. Spiders don't bother me too much.

You ever seen a lawn filled with grubs after it rains? *shudder* I'd like to take a blowtorch to it.

I just woke up, so the brain is functioning slow; I'm usually full to bursting of weirdisms...

Anne Gallagher said...

The stuff in the tub drain that I have to use the heavy duty gloves, a screwdriver and a face mask to get out. I have tried using the sink colanders but they don't work.

I sanitize myself for hours afterward.

Patty Blount said...

OMG, totally agree about Christopher Walken. I also add Steve Buscemi to the list. *shudders*

Steph Schmidt said...

Snorkeling mouth pieces. They always taste funky!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

All I'll say about willies is that they're handy gadgets to carry along on a picnic.

Great list. I'd have to add maggots. Major EWWWW. (enough to gag a... maggot!)

Michele Shaw said...

Nothing worse than a tick so bloated with blood it's fallen off an animal and can barely move its glutted body. Disgusting! And yep on Christopher Walken, yet I kind of like him for his particular brand of crazy. Strangely, this is the 2nd time today I have referred to him in a blog comment!

Dianne K. Salerni said...

We share a lot of willies! (And that can certainly be taken the wrong way!) I agree with the Christopher Walken thing (shudder), along with high bridges, snot, and spiders as big enough to scare cats. (We have some of those in the basement.) Shark eyes -- another creepy thing.

I am also not fond of sticking my hand in murky dishwater to find out what soggy food items might be clogging the drain.

Sage Ravenwood said...

Centipedes - way too many legs for me and they bite like the dickens.

Flying roaches - Fla. has these nasties.

People who stare openly at you. They don't blink, turn their head away, nothing. Creeps me out.

Abandoned buildings - sort of. I write about them and love to explore the decrepit interiors...still I wouldn't want to be alone in one. You know the whole ghost out for revenge thing and all.

People who abuse animals. There is something missing inside, and I doubt they stop at animals.

That's six, anymore and you'll think I'm neurotic. (Hugs)Indigo

Bess Weatherby said...

Haha this is great! I can always count on your posts to give me a good laugh! Shark eyes -- yes. Christopher Walken -- double YES!!!

And the word "Delicious." I hate it. Almost as much as I hate it when people abbreviate it to "Delish."


out of the wordwork said...

Leeches. Total, unequivocal gross out for me. That scene in Stand By Me when the boys have to wade through that swampy water and the one boy discovers a leech on his, well, willie? Oh dear Lord. If it grossed me out I'm sure it must make guys just about pass out when they see that scene.

Linda G. said...

Oooh, y'all came up with some good willie-givers! Thanks for playing. :)

Steve Clayworth said...

Remember when we went to Canyon Lake one time and you were hip-hopping down to the shore and I yelled, "Watch out for the water roaches!"

I think you levitated.