Monday, March 21, 2011

More Monday Meanness, aka How Rotten Can I Be?

Okay, after my post last week about Mr. Meaners, I got to thinking. There must be some way I can be nasty to my characters without imbibing spirits. Because as much as I enjoy a good cocktail or glass of wine, I really don't indulge early in the day.* Since I do the majority of my writing pre-5 o'clock, this can prove awkward.

Then I remembered I'm not just a writer. I'm also an (ex-)actress. So I had the brilliant idea of casting myself in the role of Murphy. You know...

Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. 

...that Murphy.

Now, every new page I turn as I'm writing, I ask myself, "Linda, what can possibly go wrong?"

(Yes, I always use my name when I'm talking to myself. It's slightly less weird than me calling me "honey" or "sweetie.")

And then I--er, I mean, Murphy makes it happen. Bwah-ha-hah! *rubs hands together gleefully*

I'm kind of getting into it. I've recently done some downright horrible things to my poor MC. It's gotten to the point where she's giving me dirty looks whenever she pops up in my imagination.

In fact, I'm starting to fear that in some parallel universe (like I talked about in this post) -- one where she's the writer and I'm the character -- she's plotting serious payback.

Uh, sorry about that, Parallel Universe Self. Better you than me!

So, to the writers among you, have you come up with any creative ways to be mean to your characters?

To the non-writers, please feel free to share ways to be mean to real people. I'm sure I could find a way to apply it to my fiction. ;)

*Unless I'm on vacation. In that case, a Bloody Mary on the beach at 11 a.m. is perfectly acceptable, as is a Mimosa at Sunday brunch. Oh, and a beer with pizza for lunch.

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