Monday, March 7, 2011

Monday musings on unrelated, seemingly silly, yet penetrating, questions...

So, I was pondering deep philosophical questions over the weekend. (Yes *cough* alcohol may have been involved. It was the weekend.)

Here. I'll share them with you, and give you my carefully considered answers. Then maybe you can give me yours, in the comments. Just for grins and giggles.

*ahem* Are you ready? Here goes:

1. If you had to be turned into a vampire, a zombie, a werewolf, or a ghost, which would you choose?

For me, it's ghost all the way. I just don't think I could get into drinking blood or eating brains, and the monthly transformation process for werewolves sounds like it would be excruciating. I'm not into pain, either.

But a ghost? Once you get past that whole non-corporeal thing, it might be kind of cool. Plus, you wouldn't have to fear dying anymore, right? And you'd get to haunt people.  Anybody really tick you off? Go scare the living crap out of them! Think how much fun that could be!

2. If you had to come back in your next life as a plant, what plant would you be? 

This was a toughie. I mean, the possibilities are ginormous! Tree? Shrub? Flower? Vegetable?

Hmm. I think I'd have to go with a flower of some sort. An annual. Something short-lived, because seriously? Who in the heck wants to be a plant? Best to get that whole lifetime over as quickly as possible.

Or, hmm...maybe one of those Venus Flytrap things. Then I could move, after a fashion, and eat. Because that whole photosynthesis thing? Not gonna do it for me. Sunlight just doesn't sound filling enough.

3. If you were a painting, what type would you be? 

Well, not a Picasso, that's for sure. I like my nose in the center of my face. Nor a Dali. Too melty.

Maybe a nice da Vinci. I could get into being mysterious, like the Mona Lisa. 

4. Let's get elemental. You're fire. Are you: A) a conflagration, huge and bright, but quickly extinguished, or B) a banked and smoldering ember, not giving off a lot of light, but sticking around and providing warmth for a while? 

Me, I'd opt for B. That whole conflagration thing, while exciting and impressive, sounds exhausting.

5. When it comes to cleaning up life's emotional messes, are you a broom (sweep them aside), a mop (wash them away with water; i.e., tears), or a vacuum cleaner (suck them all up until you find a convenient time and place to empty out)? 

Hmm. Another tough one. It takes a helluva lot to make me cry, so probably not mop. I might suck small traumas inside, and hold them there until I can get a handle on them, so maybe a vacuum. Sometimes, anyway. But I definitely tend to sweep things aside with humor whenever I can get away with it, so I guess I'd have to say broom.

6. If you could remotely program other people's cell phones with a special ringtone to let them know it was you calling, what would it be? 

My first thought was a long, drawn-out, and embarrassingly loud fa--er, raspberry. Because can you imagine the high-larity that would ensue when that noise started emanating from pockets in public places? It would be tough to restrain myself from calling over and over again...

OTOH, I really don't want people thinking, damn, that stinks whenever I call. So I guess I'd go with something a bit more innocuous, like Rachmaninoff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini. Well, not the whole thing. Just the good part. The crescendo. Because I like it.

Okay, I showed you mine. Now show me yours. :)

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