Friday, January 7, 2011

Friday Fantasies, or why you may sometimes catch me looking like a blithering idiot

Everybody does it. Come on, you know what I mean.

(No, not that. Though my guess is everybody does that, too.)

I'm talking about fantasizing. You know, the "What if I win the Mega-Millions lottery?" type of fantasy.

Aaaahhhh...$$$$Mega-Million$$$$. What I wouldn't do with mega-millions! *blissful, blithering-idiot look* (<--See what I mean?)

Gosh, I could...I mean, I would...or I could always... Oh, hell. I'd still do pretty much the same thing I'm doing now.

I'd write novels.

ONLY, I'd probably do it in more exotic surroundings. Like:

Pretend that's me, walking along the beach next to my cozy, island-getaway mansion. (It helps if you squint.) And imagine those are my horses, which are taken care of by somebody else while I, you know, write my novels. Because who has time to shovel horse manure? Hello? Busy writing. (Which, granted, some may consider the same thing, but that's a topic for another day.) 

Naturally, I would have cabana boys waiting on me hand and foot while I gaze ocean-ward and plot out my books. Cabana boys like these:

Mmm, mmm, mmm. I'll bet they could serve up some, umbrella drinks.

Oh, and lest  you think I'm a selfish spouse, I would, of course, allow TG to have cabana girls serve him drinks. Fair is fair. Let's's a good one:

And here are a few more. (Note how generous I am. TG gets THREE cabana girls while I only get two cabana boys. Yup, that's just the kind of loving wife I am):

(What? TG LIKES guns and cigars. *blink*)

So, what are your Friday Fantasies? Do share. Especially if they're fun. Or naughty. ;)

Having trouble coming up with something? Here, this might help:

Cheers! (If you can't read the label, it says "Blithering Idiot." Of course.)


Gerb said...

Really. First you take my initials and then my fantasies? When does it end?

The Other Linda G

Michele Shaw said...

One cabana boy ought to do it. Mmkthx...I'll take two if you have an extra.

Patty Blount said...

Funny, we played the same game this week. :)

Let's see. I'd force my cranky husband to quit the job that not only does not appreciate him, it slashed his paycheck and forces him to work all kinds of odd hours. I married him because he was funny and I want that back, damn it.

I'd get my mom the best cancer treatments available. I'd bail my sister out of bankruptcy. I'd set up trusts for all the kids.

I'd build myself a library. I've always wanted one with floor to ceiling shelves and a ladder that rolls along them. Some nice cushy furniture, a big window and a fireplace for cozy reading times.

I'd buy MTV and burn every last episode of The Jersey Shore and kick Snooki back to the trailer park and -

Ooops. A bitter moment. I'm ok.

Anne Gallagher said...

Oh Mega Millions fantasies....
let's see, a castle in Scotland.
Richard Bransons's private island.
Colin Firth or Colin Farrell, I don't really care as long as his name is Colin.
I think I'm good.

Summer Frey said...

I'll take those cabana boys, especially the second one!

Sad to say, the first thing that I'd always do with any winnings is pay off my students loans...*groan* Heh. And then I'd buy us a house. And I'd buy a pony, and I'd get five more cats, and when my husband tried to complain, I'd throw a wad of money in his face. :)

Unknown said...

lottery winning fantasies. we all have them...sadly, mine aren't very inventive. i'd just buy a nice house out in the middle of nowhere, live completely off the grid and do nothing but write, write, write.

wow. that sounded vaguely unabomber-ish. ah, well. *shrugs*

Tara said...

I'm with Karla on my loot fantasies - but I'd bring a cabana (yeah, sure, we'll call him a cabana boy). I'm pretty sure you've seen pictures of him at my place ;)

Guns and cigars...*snort* it's a wonder I could type this through the tears...

Tara said...

Apparently, I can't type - that is supposed to be *lotto* fantasies, but at least loot works (even if it purely coincidence that it came out that way)...

Kelly Breakey said...

I am going to spend the rest of my day fixating on this.

And Patty, if you do buy MTV, I have a request. Can you play music videos again? You know, like the name implies?

Thank you.

abby mumford said...

i'd buy a beach house and a winter house in the mountains and pay off my student loans and write and write and set up college funds for my nieces and nephews and pay back my parents and HIRE A CHEF.

oh and i'd marry that cabana boy. either one of them.

Teri Anne Stanley said...

Well, I already have a pool boy named Raoul, but I might get him a playmate.

Lola Sharp said...

Mmmmm, those are some tasty man-servants. :)

We bought tickets and tried to hit that mega...sadly, zilch. We're losers. ;) But yeah, I'd be writing from some exotic lands and in comfort.
But, I would give/donate a lot. We do now, but if I had MAD money, I'd be able to be more generous.

Have a fab weekend, Linda!

Adriana said...

Fun post! Mm, cabana boys, delicious!

Today I am fantasizing about coffee and chocolate... I'm doing a stupid detox diet for at least another week, so I'm daydreaming about chocolate croissants, eclairs, brownies, cheesecake... basically anything with sugar in it. But your sounds glorious too! I'm sure TG will be thrilled :)

An oh, is that real beer? I love the label!

Linda G. said...

Gerb -- Hey, Gerbsan! Good to see the other Linda G. :) And I've had these initial for 30 years now. Can you beat that? ;)

Michele -- Well, I'm not so very good at sharing...;)

Patty -- Good fantasies, all! Especially that library. *drools* And, boy, I hear about Snooki.

Anne -- Oooh, a castle and a Colin. Yeah, I could do that. You ARE good. :)

Summer -- Um, he's busy. Yup. Too busy to travel to you. Sorry. ;)

Karla -- Introvert much? ;)

Tara -- "loot" fantasies? Freudian, perhaps? ;)

Kelly -- Enjoy! :)

Abby -- Sounds good to me! Only I already married my chef, so I don't need one of those. ;)

Teri Anne -- LOL! And think what fun you'll have watching them play. ;)

Lola -- Aw, you could never be a loser. You have a fab weekend, too! :)

Adriana -- I think it's a real beer. I found it on the internet, but haven't seen it in a store. I'm going to look for, though. And good luck with your detox diet -- hope the rest of it is as painless as possible. :)

Melissa Gill said...

I perfected the blithering idiot look in Kindergarten and was nearly institutionalized beause of it, but then someone realized that I just had a, you know, IMAGINATION!

Now when I get that look, I'm normally thinking of Daniel Craig... funny that you seem to have the same designs on him.

As for my plans for the megabucks lottery win... I don't know how I'd manage to quit my day job, fly to Sumatra, buy my parents a vaca home in Colorado, and hire a chauffer all in the first five minutes after winning, but I'd find a way. The list from there goes on and on and on.

Linda G. said...

Melissa -- I imagine a lot of women have designs on Mr. Craig. ;) And, my, you are going to have a mighty busy first five minutes after you win your mega-millions!

Elizabeth Ryann said...

I would be incredibly strategic, take the cash advance, talk to some fancy accountants and money managers so I could spend without guilt, knowing that I'd secured a trust that would fund everything, including people to do all the cooking/cleaning/maintenance. Then I'd break ground on building my dream compound (of course it has a ridiculously awesome library, a ballroom, a movie theatre, and an art studio. Also several pools [indoor/outdoor] and a gym/dance studio -- staying healthy is important when you have that much money to spend, obviously). Then I'd make sure that all my friends and family were taken care of with money to spare--but make it clear that it's a one-time donation. I don't want to spend my wealthy golden years feeling guilty that I tied up a large chunk of change in an unbreakable trust. Then I'd go shopping because a compound of that size is going to need things, like a car that stays dry when it rains to park in the garage, and possibly some furniture. The car will also make it easier to meet with landscape devolopers about the topiary animals I envision by the pool.

Anyway, that's where I'd start. Obviously I'd talk to personal shoppers in London, Paris, and the Caribbean as I decide on vacation home(s) and/or the eternal question of private plane or luxury yacht (likely both, let's be honest), but weirdly, the area that's actually the most difficult for me is in deciding where to make charitable contributions. There's so many worthy causes, and where I donate now tends to be fairly little things (usually books for kids in need).

Maybe I'm just cut out to be an heiress (who doesn't flash anyone, get trashed, or get arrested), and not so much a benefactor.

In conclusion, I need to win the mega lottery in order to become a better person, as defined as one who gives lots of money to charity.

Linda G. said...

Elizabeth -- ROF,L! You've obviously given this a lot of thought. I believe, when I win the mega-millions, I'll just call you & have you set things up for me. Sounds like you could manage it quite nicely.

Steph Schmidt said...

I'd buy myself a nice house so I could have two libraries. That way if I didn't feel like going downstairs I could still get a book to read. I'd also have an excuse to go buy more books.

Elizabeth Ryann said...

It's a deal! I should mention, though, that I might be a touch pricey. Not unaffordable--I mean, fair's fair, and if you win and not me, the money's yours.

But I have expenses. :)

out of the wordwork said...

I still think I'll be discovered by Steven Spielberg when I'm sitting in a diner having a milk shake and be cast opposite Ryan Reynolds in his next big blockbuster. Oh... you wanted fantasies that I could have if I won money? Huh. Well, pay off debt I guess.
Man, that is so not as exciting as my movie fantasy...

demery said...

Linda, I have never laughed so hard reading your blog as I did today - and that's saying a lot because you are such a funny lady!! I'd like to join you on your stretch of beach... wherever your acreage ends, of course. And if you wouldn't mind sending your cabana boys over when you're through (and the cabana girls for my sweetie, please). Hehehe. ;)

Linda G. said...

SM -- Two libraries? Good plan! But who really needs an excuse to buy more books? Books are their own excuse.

Elizabeth -- LOL! Duly noted.

Nelsa -- Hey, your plan has merit, too. Especially the Ryan Reynolds part. Hmmm. Wonder if I need to add a third cabana boy to my fantasy...

Demery -- Thanks! Always happy to provide a laugh. :) But I think my cabana boys might be a bit tired after all their, um, drink-serving, to be of much use to you. ;)