Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The G-Spot Answers Your Burning Questions!

On Monday I started a new segment called "The G-Spot," and opened up the comments to your questions, serious or silly. I got both. Yay!

The real questions--like the one about my writing process--I'll answer later. I'm thinking of actually writing a non-tongue-in-cheek post to answer that one. (Ha! Right. That'll happen. But maybe semi-serious.)

But today I thought I'd address some of the shorter/easier/sillier questions.


Jennifer Shirk asks "What are you reading right now? and/or What are you writing or working on right now?"

Reading: Day One by Bill Cameron; Fall For Anything by Courtney Summers; and Songs of Love & Death, an anthology with stories by several of my favorite authors. I usually have two or three books going at once, so I can pick up whatever strikes my fancy at any given moment. These are all fantastic!

Writing: I'm working on three different projects right now. (Hmm. I'm beginning to think I must have ADD. Plus, three is my favorite number.) One is a funny/quirky urban fantasy, another is a humorous contemporary romance, and the third is a more serious paranormal suspense. (That last one is my "drawer novel." It's flawed, but I still love it. If I can fix it, I might try to do something with it.)

[Whoa. That was a fairly straightforward answer, wasn't it? I must be off my game.]

Kelly B says " I want an example of a question that would be too graphic. Knowing you, I am sure you will get at least one. If not you can make it up, I am not particular."

Let's see...if someone had asked "How big is TG's #$@&?," that would be too graphic. And I couldn't answer it, because it's not polite to brag.*

SM Schmidt says:

"Dear G-Spot,

How can a writer banish the I rolled out of bed half asleep because I stayed up writing till 2am look? Or should a writer just embrace it and claim it's part of suffering for their art.


Clueless with makeup 

Dear "Clueless,"

You worked hard for that look -- embrace it! In fact, you can enhance it by adding Scotch and cigarettes to the late-night writing sessions. Nothing says "I am a hard-working writer" like bloodshot eyes and stinky clothes.

Yours sincerely,

Tawna wants to know: "Why does the Kool Aid packet tell me not to mix it in a metal container?"

It is a little known fact that Kool Aid, when mixed with water in a metal container, results in a nuclear fission reaction. The oil companies have paid off the Kool Aid manufacturers to put that warning on the packages in order to prevent people from taking advantage of a cheap power source.

If the idea of nuclear fission in your kitchen makes you nervous, you can mix your Kool Aid with vodka.

And from Pseudosu: "Why do the Cialis marketing wizards think two clawfoot bathtubs, side by side, outdoors in an unlikely setting, is even a remotely sexy scenario?"

The bathtubs are just the misdirection, meant to keep younger viewers from thinking too closely about old people having sex. Teenagers are all "What the hell is up with the bathtubs?" instead of "Eeeew. Old people do it?"

That's it for this time, kiddies! Thanks for playing. :)

*I may refer back to this in a future post, to be entitled "How to Make Sure Your Husband Likes Your Blog."

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