Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Save the WORMS! (It's a Contest!!)

"Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms..."

You know that song, right? I found a video of it on YouTube, but I'm sparing you, because it's kind of gross.

Ever have one of those days? I do. Not often, but every now and then. Usually for no good reason. If you happen to be leaning in the wormy direction already (*cough* hormones *cough*), it doesn't take much you push you over the edge into reading every random happening as a personal slight.

And this is NOT a good thing, people.

Especially for the worm.

 So I've decided to launch a SAVE THE WORMS campaign. I'm making a list of things that get me out of worm-eating moods. Maybe the list will help my fellow wannabe worm-eaters through their low moments, too.


~ Eat ice cream instead. Because, really, it tastes so much better than worms. Or so I imagine. And nothing anchors those rose-colored glasses firmly into place like a good cone.

~ Read--or better yet, write--a limerick. Say, like...

If you're considering the eating of worms
Take care, for they surely have germs
They're also quite squiggle-y,
Slimy, gooey, and wiggle-y
And likely to give you the squirms.

(Hey, it's early. My limerick muscles aren't entirely awake. But you get the idea.)

~ Pick up an old favorite, and escape into another world for a while.

~ Get out and move. Because it's hard to feel like eating worms when you're sweating. Oh, and take a friend.

~ Listen to an obnoxious song. Because it's better to get an ear worm than to eat a real worm.

~Force yourself to smile. Research shows the physical act of using your smile muscles actually releases some sort of endorphins in the brain, and you will feel better.

 (If you're still frowning in spite of your best efforts, stand on your head. It will look like a smile to the rest of us, and keep us entertained besides.)

Care to contribute to my SAVE THE WORMS campaign? Just let me know, in the comments, what you do to keep yourself from eating worms when you're feeling down.

Best answer will win you a--you guessed it!--bag of...

...GUMMY WORMS!! Yum. :) Oh, and a grab-bag book from my overstuffed bookshelves. The title will be a surprise. Are you feeling lucky today? Huh? Are you?

As always, winner will be selected by me on a purely subjective basis. Make me laugh, people. Move me to tears. Impress the hell out of me with your wackily creative ideas. (Bonus points if it's in limerick form. Or haiku. Or rhymes in any way whatsoever. Or is strictly conversational prose. See how easy I am?)

In case of a tie, TG will be the official tie-breaker. Contest will close Sunday, Nov. 21, at 6 p.m. East Coast Time.


Candyland said...

There once was a worm I did eat,
The taste was like rotted, green feet,
'Til the worm flashed a smile
And made it worthwhile,
We'll be married by end of next spring.

*Awful. Yes.*

Kerry Schafer said...

One good way to save the worms: read your blog! Always good for a laugh. And, because flattery might get me somewhere but not everywhere:

eat chocolate
drink MORE coffee
write words of my own, good or bad
give a boost to someone else who is heading toward the worm fields

Tammy Gallant said...

I play chuzzle. Blowing up those furry little balls can really ease your mood. Wait, that sounded dirty. Chuzzle is a game. Google it. ;)

Unknown said...

Ha! this was a wonderful little pick me up for a dreary Wednesday morning...although, is it just me, or where there no camels in this post? I'd think that camel pics would stave off the worms as well :)

Tara said...

My mom used to sing that all the time ;-)

I'm in kind of a wormy mood myself today, definitely not a witty, rhyme-y, haiku-ish one.

Writing or reading, in a corner by myself, are my get-out-of-wormville-free cards.

Kelly Breakey said...

I love the pic of the doggie smiling. He really was smiling.

When I am having a down day I drink. Just kidding. Sort of. No, really I am just kidding.

Right now when I am feeling wormy I pull up teenage dream glee version on you tube and sing with Darren Criss. My co-workers do not enjoy it, but it makes me feel all, warm inside.

Elena Solodow said...

There once was a day,
where I filled with dismay,
and I felt like my writing was worthless.

But I turned to my head,
where my characters bed,
and they reminded me that
writing has purpose.

Summer Frey said...

I'm feeling wormy too! First thing I do is usually blow off some steam yelling really loud four-letter words at my cats, who usually deserve it. They have quite the vocabulary for 5-month-olds. Also, I wonder what my neighbor thinks when he hears "I'm sending you to the POUND, you $&*#%^ little $(*&$%*&(#$&s!!!"

After that, I usually feel kinda bad, so I give the kitties some canned food. They forgive me instantly.

Then I try to take a shower, but the shampoo bottle falls on my foot one too many times, making me nick myself with the ()*@$#%&U*)(& RAZOR, YOU PIECE OF SHITTTTT!!!!!!

(yes, there's lots of yelling involved)

For the next while, I'll try different things like cleaning, watching TV, pulling weeds--but they all make me madder and madder, until I finally just give in and collapse on the couch with my Snuggie for a nap.

Usually the nap works.


I wake up with a headache.

Then I just accept that I'll be hell on wheels, limit my yells to my husband to 65 decibels, and hope the next day is better.

Bess Weatherby said...

I picture a herd of green llammas
Wearing purple-striped pink lace pajamas
Then I visit your blog
(Too lazy for a jog)
or write poems with too many commas.


Oh how timely! I was having a worm-eating day yesterday and mentioned on Twitter that I needed something to make me smile. Immediately, @CKHBFiction sent me this link:

I'm still smiling. (No, it's not dirty, though she also sent me a dirty one the day before that made me smile even bigger).


COLM O'RIAIN said...

I see from your post that the worm has turned
And I for one do not wish to be burned
By not heeding your advice and being deemed a rotter
For not indulging in ice cream or reading Harry Potter.
So with earworm attached I'll force a smile,
And with your comely lass I'Ll walk a while,
But to this new venture, one question I must append,
Who'll mind the dog while i'm out waliking your friend?

Susan Adrian said...

Well, it USED to be watch Buffy. Now that I've finished Buffy...

I haven't found the replacement yet. So far *cross fingers* I haven't needed one!

Don't enter me for the worms, though. I HATE gummy worms. :)

abby mumford said...

"how to get rid of worms", she asks?

"go to the vet," i said.

and per susan's comment, no need to enter me for worms either. i'm not a fan of the gummy variety. (or real ones either for that matter.)

Patty Blount said...

Oh, such a good idea! I dance to That's What I Like About You when it feels like I'm at the bottom of the pile-on. Can't help but feel happy after that.

The story, it bleeds me
Teasing, flowing, then retreating
The words, they fail me
Sucking, wincing, then beseeching
A new friend takes pity
Reading, liking, then critiquing
The friend, she is Kelly
Cheering, boosting, then defeating
My own self-doubt

Teri Anne Stanley said...

Recovery from worm eating has several steps for me:
1) wallow for at least fifteen minutes

2) Blame my husband

3) Blame my mother

4) Blame myself

5) make a list of all the ways that It Could Be Worse

6) Call a friend, leave a message that I am feeilng sorry for myself

7) Call another friend and ask how they are doing, maybe they are in worse shape than me

8) Feed Esther, my desk frog, and see how happy she is with her bi-weekly pellet of frog food.

9) Make a cup of tea

10) Open that word file and get back to it.

Lola Sharp said...

Oh, I'm PMS-ing and burned out on writing, so I'm a little wormy today...what perfect timing.

Well, I'm not feeling creative today, due to the aforementioned worminess, so I shall spare you any attempt at clever. But I will say that this post was a brilliant ray of light...and your posts always crack me up. You have started a worthy campaign.

You have some wonderful and worthy contenders to choose from in your comments. :)

Now I think I'm going to curl up on my couch with a soft blanket and a critter or two and watch movies the rest of the day.


Patty Blount said...

Can I just say how badly I want to go shoe shopping with Lola?

demery said...

please send the gummy worms to me
it seems i eat when i'm sad, you see
i'll love them and pet them
before i digest them
and then i'll be filled with glee!

out of the wordwork said...

I have so many wormy days I should get medical help. Instead, I grab a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy or watch a Say Yes to the Dress marathon on TV, huddle under a blanket with a bag of popcorn and bliss out.
Did I say I do that? Sorry, it's what I WISH I could do if I had the time. sigh.
Hope your wormy feeling is almost over m'dear!

Linda G. said...

Y'all are great--thanks so much for entering. Keep 'em coming! :)

Elizabeth Flora Ross said...

My personal cure involves a hot bath, a glass (or bottle) of wine and music blasted through my ear buds. So I can't hear myself singing along.

pseudosu said...

I too, hate gummy worms, so if I win pass them along to someone else. :)

I get in these moods every once in a while, and if shameless bids for affection/attention don't work, or online pouting along the lines of, "You people are doing a horrible job of entertaining me. ~flounce~"
I turn my attention to making someone ELSE feel awesome. Always works. :)

Elisabeth Black said...

There was nothing worth blocking in this post. Silly Panera.

Oh, and orange is the best gummy worm color. Am I right or am I right?