Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Wednesday Wisdom, aka Things I Learned the Hard Way
Thought I'd share some pieces of wisdom I've gleaned from life over the years. Things I learned the hard way. My gift to you, so you don't have to acquire the knowledge the way I did.
(The "why" behind each wisdom should be apparent without elaboration.)
1. Never trust the all-you-can-eat sushi bar in a restaurant with an iffy air conditioner.
2. Don't feed bran muffins to raccoons.
3. When the president of the PTA calls, pretend to be somebody else.
4. If you see your toddler running around without a diaper, don't chase him/her barefoot.
5. While two martinis may sometimes not be enough, three are always too many. Corollary: rollerblading after drinking martinis is not a good idea.
6. Don't use the box of baking soda deodorizing the refrigerator for your baking, even if you are out of baking powder.
7. Laundry detergent -- even a little bit -- is not a good substitute for dishwasher detergent.
8. Never try to blow out a lit can of sterno unless you think eyebrows are senseless facial ornaments. (This one is courtesy of TG.)
9. Don't test the automatic garage door stop mechanism with your foot.
10. If you have the kind of car that locks with a press of the button on the door, make sure doubly sure the key is in your hand before you get out of the car. Corollary: Make sure your toddler is not still in the car seat. Corollary #2: Or that the engine is still running.
11. The right answer is always, without hesitation, "Yes, that looks fantastic!" (Courtesy of my son.)
So, how about y'all? Any wisdom you'd care to add to the list? If you're embarrassed about how you gained your knowledge, just pretend you heard it from a friend. I'll never tell. ;)