Because of y'all, I am officially over 100 followers on this blog now.
Okay. 101 at last count. That's "over." Not by much, but it still makes me feel like doing something crazy to celebrate.
HOOLA-HOOPING! That's me, with my dad, when I was...well, a lot younger than I am now. It's kind of blurry, because it was a small print. I look like I don't quite understand the concept, don't I?
Anyway, to celebrate this amazing foot...
...er, feat. *cough* To celebrate this amazing feat (truly amazing, when you consider how many previous blogs I tried--and failed miserably--to keep up with) I am going to have a little Thank-You-For-Reading-My-Blog Contest.
All you have to do is provide me with a caption to either the hoola-hoop photo or the foot photo. Or, if you'd prefer something more seasonal, this one:
That's "Headless TG," one of our Halloween decorations from a few years back. Those are earlier versions of my kiddos with him.
As with my previous caption contest, you may give me either a one-liner or a whole dialogue. Or even a write a song, as Kelly Breakey did. Your preference; I ain't picky. I just want to be amused.
Leave your entry in the comments. You may enter as often as you'd like, with just one of the photos or, if you're an over-achiever, all three.
That's it. Really. No catches. Simple huh?
The winner will be chosen on a purely subjective basis: whoever makes me laugh the hardest. (Extra credit for anyone who makes me spew a beverage out of my nose or wet my pants.) If there happens to be a tie, I will let my live-in tie-breaker, TG, decide.
The prize? This nifty little electronic gadget:
I'm pretty sure it doesn't vibrate (sorry, Tawna), but it could still come in handy when you're reading books with Really Big Words, right? AmIright?
Contest will close in half an hour. Better hurry!
Okay, not really. I just said that to get you to leave your comments faster. The contest will actually close Tuesday, Oct. 12th, at midnight. That way you have the whole three-day weekend (plus a whole extra day!) to enter.
(If you're lucky enough to have Columbus Day off, that is. If not...well, you'll have to squeeze it in* somehow. Surely you have a few minutes here or there. I'm not looking for deathless prose. Only a few chuckles.)
*I know what you're thinking. But they don't all have to be double-entendres, you know.
Hula-hooping photo: How the whole child-on-a-leash thing began.
Foot pic: Cowpoke #1: By george, you caught a red-toed foot! I thought those were a myth.
Cowpoke #2: *beams proudly* Used one of the wife's homeade kitchen lassoes...apparently, the devil feet can't resist 'em.
Cowpoke #1: *leans down to get a better look* Is it safe to touch it?
Cowpoke #2: I wouldn't do--
Cowpoke #1: ARGH!!! *springs away, clutching the stump where his hand used to be* It got me! It got me!
Cowpoke #2: *shakes head sadly* I told you not to do that. Next time, you should listen. Those red-toed feet are the devil, I tell you. The devil!
Headless TG pic: Just one more casualty of the red-toed feet.
The Halloween photo:
"Kids, don't bother you father while he's thinking."
"What happened to dad?"
"I don't know..."
"Where's mom?" He whispered.
"I don't think I want to know."
"Shouldn't we go find her?"
They tip-toed around the headless figure of their father sitting on the bench in their front lawn. The sun started to set casting dark shadows across everything. They didn't know what to do. His head was gone, and under his arm lay a pumpkin carved.
She knelt before him and dropped her head across his knees.
"Oh daddy... How could she do this."
"We need to go somewhere."
"No... We can't just leave him."
"But it's getting dark!" He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up, but she had wrapped herself around her daddy's leg and he slipped from the bench. His body came sliding down with her and all three them tumbled into a pile on the ground.
The front door opened.
"Children? What are you doing out there in the dark. You should be coming in." Their mother said, their father's head curled under her arm.
For the halloween photo:
"Recently, we at the Ginsu Knife Company have received complaints that our knives may be too sharp. We, of course, wish to assure our customers that while we understand that our Japanese tin-can slicing uber knives may be handy for other jobs, such as driving a small screw or carving a halloween jack-o-lantern, we cannot be held responsible for any accidental maimings, dismemberments or beheadings that may occur from misuse of our fine cutlery.
Thank you for your support."
"I don't think that dishrag will keep your foot attached, Mom."
"Oh, I'll make it work."
"I've got the pedicure, and the dishrag for bondage, now all i need is Fabio. Geez, that guy's always late!"
Foot photo caption:
"I told my husband a tourniquet wasn't necessary for a pedicure, but he'd never used a nail file before and he thought 'better safe than sorry.'"
Thanks for your fun entries, y'all! They're all freakin' great so far! :)
Drat, I don't have anything good. But wanted to say I'm enjoying the entries so far. :)
hula hooping: (dad to child) wait your turn, honey.
and p.s. how flipping adorable is that picture? very much so!
Okay, contest is closed. Thank you all for amusing me! Now I have a difficult decision to make. Watch for an announcement on my blog later today. :)
Congratulations. I think I have maybe two followers. [g]
Hi, Beth! *waves* Good to see you. :)
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