Thursday, June 17, 2010

Quantum weirdness and basket-weaving...

It seems my humble little corner of reality has won an award:




Thank you, Karla Nellenbach, for including me on the list of blogs you enjoy reading! Calling me "the funniest" and "the snarkiest" proves you get what I'm all about, and you are welcome to visit my reality any time you like. :)

As a recipient of this award, I am supposed share seven things about myself.

*tries to think of seven things I haven't already shared*

Hmm...

*blink*

Well, here goes...

1. I am fascinated by quantum physics. Not that I understand it, mind you. But I find the weird-ass concepts really compelling to read about, and I have this fantasy that when I die I'll suddenly understand everything I've ever been curious about. (Like: what's up with marsupials? And why aren't Pandas marsupials, anyway? If anyone could benefit from some quality pouch-time, it's a naked little panda cub.) My idea of heaven: knowing ALL the answers.

2. When doing research for one of my books, I found out I'm a pretty good shot. My first time on the range with a .38 revolver I hit the silhouette's heart dead center. One-handed. And then I nailed the head. The little head, if you get my drift. (That one made TG wince.) I wanted to hang the target on our front door, but TG thought that might make the neighbors nervous.

3. When push comes to shove, I am good with a sewing machine. I've produced a hundred yards of china silk drapes for the theater in one afternoon. Also, back in leaner years, when we couldn't afford a new sofa, I made a slipcover for the one we had. The cheapest sturdy-enough fabric available was a semi-cute, quilty-looking...oh, hell. It was plaid. A complex plaid that had to be matched six ways from Sunday. Which I did. While entertaining our two-year-old. I never, ever want to do this again.

4. I once took a basket weaving class to save my sanity, when my DD was a toddler & I had to do something--anything--to get out of the house for a few hours. (Come to think of it, this was shortly after the slipcover.) Here are the remnants of my time with my fellow sanity-seeking moms (not bad, especially when you consider how much wine we consumed while weaving):



5. I have extremely fast reflexes, which is good because I have extremely poor night vision. On our first cross-country trip together, TG woke to find me heading toward the guardrail. (What? It looked like the exit ramp to me.) Coincidentally, TG has never let me drive at night on a long trip since then.

6. Some kinds of hot peppers make me choke. As in, almost die. I've told TG if I ever start to lose it mentally when I get old, just to feed me a jalapeno and say adios. (Unless I look like I've gone to a "happy place" in my head. Then he can leave me alone and just deal with it.)

7. After the basket-weaving class ended, I kept myself occupied with counted cross-stitch for a while:


If you can't make out the words, it says: "Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most." I had a young child and I was pregnant when I made this. It seemed fitting at the time.

I've since figured out that writing suits me a lot better than basket weaving or cross-stitch. I still read about quantum weirdness in my spare time, though. Someday I'm gonna figure that shit out.

21 comments:

Sierra Godfrey said...

I'm so glad you do cool things when researching too. I tapped into a fierce love of football during research for a story. I love what comes out!

Also, I too am strangely drawn to quantum physics, although I have zero clue what they are. (And truth be told, don't honestly want to know.)

Coolio facts!

Cara Wallace said...

Oh, I love reading about quantum physics too! Those books-by-scientists-for-laypeople that try to explain things with lots of analogies and no math. *g* And magazines like New Scientist and Scientific American, with general sciency stuff in them.

I am no good at handicraft, though. No weaving, no cross-stitch. I think I could sew basic stuff if I had to -- I made a decent pair of shorts when I was 7 or 8. But I never kept up with it.

Elizabeth Ryann said...

Hello! I am very impressed with your baskets. And your shooting. That's the very definition of multitalented, I think.

Linda G. said...

Sierra -- I kind of like football now, too. As long as I can drink beer and eat junk food while I watch, and have a good book close by for the slow times. ;)

Cara -- Yay! I'm not the only geek in the room. And, yeah, the books for lay people are the ones I devour. I'm all for dumbing it down.

Linda G. said...

Hi, Elizabeth! Thank you. But what about my night blindness? Not wrecking the car is pretty impressive too, yes? ;)

coffeelvnmom said...

Wow. Basket weaving. Why didn't I think of that ten years ago when I was losing my mind? Like you, I figured out writing later (later as in, a few years later, and not like "oh my gosh, look! I can write!", but "duh, I should write!"). Great post. I love learning more about my twitter/blogger friends=)

Linda G. said...

coffeelvnmom -- I never would've thought of the basket weaving myself if it hadn't been for a basket-weaving mom in my DD's playgroup. She talked a bunch of us into it. We all thought she was a little bonkers at first, but she really was talented.

pseudosu said...

I think we'll know all the answers when we die too. I'm expecting it to be like watching a video of myself playing pin the tail on the donkey kind of... "Oh look! I almost had it that one time!" But hopefully, the answers are more fascinating than a donkey's butt.

I also have the "if I'm in my happy place, just keep playing dvd's I like" policy. You know, if the death by misadventure involving, hopefully, sex, chocolate, possibly high speeds, copious amounts of some intoxicant, and being over 120 years old doesn't pan out.

Linda G. said...

Sue -- Gawd. I'm going to be SOOO disappointed if I die and see a great big donkey's butt with pins sticking in it. o_0

I do love your death plan, though. I think I'm going to aim for that myself. ;)

Elizabeth Ryann said...

I am saving my impressedness with your night blindness for the guest post by TG.

Linda G. said...

Elizabeth -- Ooooh, I shiver at the thought of turning TG loose on my blog. The stories he could tell about me! Not sure teh interwebz is ready for that. ;)

Caitlin said...

Aren't whackadoos called basket-weavers? I swear that hobby goes hand in hand with bathrobes, horse tranquilizers and needlework samplers involving losing one's mind.

"To the happy home; with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha ha!"

Ringing any bells? I'm kidding of course. I'm sure your sanity is fully intact; it's just a raging case of ADHD, right?

(I adore you regardless-- people who cook in glass houses shouldn't throw stones)

Kelly Breakey said...

I have never been interested in Quantum Physics except as it pertained to the show Quantum Leap (I was a huge Scott Bakula Fan) Thats about all I know regarding that.

Basket weaving could be fun...as long as the wine flows freely. But then again a lot of things become fun once the wine flows freely.

I like the idea of learning everything I didn't know once I die and go to heaven. Of course that is I get to heaven. I am sure I am getting into heaven. Well, reasonably sure. Should I be worried?

Linda G. said...

Caitlin -- You are absolutely right. That's why it struck me as the perfect hobby for the whackadoo stage of my life. (Well, that and the fact there was wine involved.)

Re glass houses: anyone who has had kids has spent time in the whackadoo house. ;) At least you cook in yours!

Linda G. said...

Kelly -- You should try quantum physics with wine. THAT really gets interesting. ;) I loved Quantum Leap, too. And not just when Scott Bakula took his shirt off, either. Though that didn't hurt...

And don't worry. You'll get into heaven. God likes funny people. :)

Jeannie said...

I always talked about basket weaving as a joke. There are really classes? I suppose it could be a lot of fun with wine.

Congratulations on your award. You are funny. And snarky. And clever... Do you get to put the nifty badge on your blog for all time? Very cool.

Linda G. said...

Jeannie -- Thanks! :) I guess the badge will stick around (on this particular, anyway) post indefinitely.

Anonymous said...

Well, I thought I knew you pretty well, but after all these years the basket weaving and cross stitch caught me off guard. Quantum Physics and the gun thing, seemed right up your alley though.:-)
~Elise

Linda G. said...

Hi, Elise! Yeah, I've kept the more unsavory parts of my past (basket-weaving & cross-stitch are unsavory, right?) buried deep within the murky corridors of my personal history. Until now. Remember, you read it here first. ;)

Penelope said...

I'm just giggling about you hitting the little head, I must admit.

Lovely skills you've picked up! The baskets are great! I like that idea for us moms seeking sanity :)

Linda G. said...

Hi Penelope! Thank you. The baskets were fun to make, though I never felt compelled to continue after making the two of them.

Re hitting the "little head": I admit, I was aiming for the belly button. Apparently I was a few inches off. Come to think of it, so was the guy on the target after I was done with him. ;)