A horrible thing happened yesterday. I found out there is another Linda Grimes on Twitter.
Wait. It gets worse.
THAT Linda Grimes is apparently a...
*lowers voice to an appalled whisper*
... Justin Bieber fan.
(You'll notice the announcement at the top of the Wiki page that it's protected from editing due to vandalism? I had nothing to do with that. I *cough* swear.)
Not that there's anything wrong with being a Justin Bieber fan. If you happen to be a ten-year-old girl. Which I haven't been in, oh, say, the last gazillion years. Judging by his picture, he's cute as a button. No way his hair does that forward-swept thing naturally, but hey, I'm not one to judge.
(Okay, that's a lie. I am one to judge. But only when I'm sitting on the Couch of Judgment. Which, coincidentally, I am doing right now, so I have special dispensation to get as snarky about the Bieber as I want.)
Can this kid even sing? I admit I don't know. I've never heard him try. If he can, I suspect his voice is a little high-pitched for my taste. How old is he, anyway? What's going to happen when he hits puberty and his voice changes? Or (horrors!) he gets his first pimple? Will his legions of adoring fans still love him then? Is there any substance under that superabundance of cute-itude?
[Aside to any rabid Bieber fans reading this: honestly, the kid is adorable. I totally understand your dedication to him. Please don't vandalize my blog.]
So, when I found out yesterday about The Imposter, the Fake Linda Grimes, the Pretender to my sacred name, I was understandably upset. A little part of me was no longer me. It was like the Twitter version of identity theft.
Yes, my twidentity had been violated. It was tweft, pure and simple.
The sad thing is, there is nothing I can do about it. The other Linda Grimes has every right to tweet under what I presume is also her name. I can (pretend to) be big about it. I'm (kinda-sorta) an adult. These things happen. That's life. C'est la vie. I roll with the punches. I'm resilient.
I wanna cry.
Anybody got a good idea for a pen name?