Friday, June 22, 2012
Adding to my List of Fears (as if I need more...)
I'm afraid of spiders, closed-in places I can't easily get out of, flying (mostly because it involves being in a closed-in place I can't get out of), and department store fitting rooms.
(Okay, that last one isn't exactly a fear, per se, but they do make me cringe.)
And now I can add something else: book signings. More precisely, my first book signing, which has been scheduled by lovely publicist at Tor. (Click here for details.)
So, I'm suppose to read an excerpt, take questions from the audience, and then sign books.
Okay, first of all, the excerpt. Which part of the book? How many pages? For God's sake, will I be able to find a long enough stretch without either bad words or, um, compromising situations???
But let's say I figure that out, rehearse the crap out of it, and manage to get through the reading without stumbling too badly. (I mean, I'm supposed to be an actress. I can do this, right? RIGHT??)
There's still the question part.
What if nobody asks a question? Or what if somebody asks one that takes me off-guard, and I stare blankly, mouth open like a fish gasping for water, and, yannoh, generally look like an idiot?
*another deep breath*
All right, I can plant family members strategically throughout the store ahead of the signing, and have them wander over and ask prearranged questions at the appropriate time, I suppose. I do have a large family in the area. Surely all those Christmas Eve parties we've thrown for the whole clan count for something, right? They'll show and do their duty.
Finally, the actual signing.
What if nobody buys my book? (The aforesaid family members have already pre-ordered, so I can't expect them to.) What if nobody wants me to sign???
Or *gulp* what if some kind souls do? I don't know about you, but, anymore, the small muscles in my hands are a lot more attuned to typing than to holding a pen. After about two signatures my penmanship turns to crapola. I could possibly permanently disfigure the books the kind souls are buying!
Whew. Glad I got that off my chest.
If you'd like to read a someone more normal post I am over at The Debutante Ball today, it being Friday and all. We're talking about fathers this week, and my dad was pretty special. Also, funny. Click here to see what I mean. (It involves ketchup and babies. If that's an incentive...)
So tell me, on this fine Friday, what are you afraid of?