Friday, September 3, 2010

Last Breath Memories, subtitled "Don't Worry, This Isn't as Sweet or Depressing as it Sounds"

Okay, back on our M-W-F track! And "F" it is. As in the TGI kind. Hooray, F!

*pauses for a "Hell, yeah!*

Anyhoo, Jessica Lemmon wrote a great post recently about the things she would be remembering as she takes her last breath on Earth. Good idea, huh? So, naturally I stole it--er, I mean, am paying homage to it here.

Of course, depending on how I go, I might only have time for an "Oh, CRAAAAP!"

But in case I do have time for quieter contemplation, I gave some thought to what I'd like to be focused on.

  • My mother's face when she blew out her cheeks so I could squish them together with my little 2-year-old hands, and the resulting "raspberry" that brought forth a multitude of giggles from both of us.
  • My father calling me his long-stemmed American Beauty, even though I was really just plain ol' tall and skinny.
  • The first time I saw TG. He was dragging a straggly Christmas tree onto the stage at Melodrama Theater. Charlie Brown had nothing on him.
  • TG and I, at the altar when we were getting married, trying desperately not to crack up when the Episcopal priest burst into a surprise rendition of the Lord's song. (Not that it was funny--he had a beautiful voice--but it was unexpected. Plus, the priest was a local amateur actor, and we suspected he was using our wedding to audition for a role in an upcoming production.)
  • DD's face, at three months old, as she was trying to figure out how smile up at me and stay latched onto my nipple at the same time.
  • DS at 11 months old, when he got his first pair of "real" shoes and took off out of the store, wobbling down the mall as fast as his legs could take him, intent on escape, laughing all the way. The little bugger was fast, too. TG chased him down while I paid for the shoes.
  • The looks of utter confusion on the kiddos' faces as they played laser tag out front with their buddies. Unbeknownst to them, I had figured out the TV remote would set off the vests, and was sitting on the bench "watching them play." Oh, the indignation when they found out what I was doing! But it ended with everyone laughing.
  • Walking our daughter down the aisle with TG, when she married the love of her life, and thinking back on our own wedding, wondering what insane temporal trickery had occurred to project us to this point in our lives.
  • Standing in front of my son's college when he graduated (at twenty--he always was precocious), looking at his beard and mustache--so nicely trimmed--and for once not thinking "would it have killed him to shave?"

And, because I can never resist taking things a step farther--


  • Holding a grandchild, looking down into a tiny, gorgeous face (because of course my grandchild will be gorgeous), and knowing, when the inevitable poopy diaper happens, I'll be able to pass changing duty off to either my daughter or my son. Revenge is sweet.
  • Holding my very own, written-by-me, published book in my hands at a brick and mortar bookstore.
  • Having Mark Harmon, Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman, George Clooney, and Patrick Stewart all get into a knock-down, drag-out brawl over moi, and then saying, "Sorry, guys. I already have my TG."

How about y'all? Any current or future memories you'd like to share?


muffintopmommy said...

I laughed. I cried. Encore, encore! I love the singing priest. I once went to a wedding and the Catholic priest made us all bust out and sing, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!" and clap and stomp our feet. The hubs and I were all, "Waa? This ain't like our Catholic church!" as we stomping along, at which point the priest said, "Oh don't worry, you all really are in a Catholic church!" It was too funny. Maybe he was auditioning too? Life is full of fun surprises!
What a lovely post! Hopefully you will have a LONG time to reflect on all that!

Patty Blount said...


OH. MY. GOD. I would like to trade my life for yours.
No. Wait.

I kinda like my DS's

Loved this post.

Unknown said...

Great list! Especially loved the last on the future moments, although if it was me, I wouldn't have it end with a "Sorry, boys"...but that's just me :)

Dianne K. Salerni said...

This is beautifully written! Although it's a scary concept to ponder ... If I say that I want all my last breath moments to come from the future, does that guarantee me more time?

Unknown said...

Lovely post, Linda. Loved the signing priest. I started writing mine, but I got all weepy. We don't always realize how the little moments make our lives great.

However, I have a teensy problem. Hugh Jackman. He's mine. You can have to other three.

Unknown said...

I meant SINGING priest. Sorry. :-)

Hallie said...

What a great list! You made me choke up as I thought of my own list. I believe I will be thinking about my children and my husband, reliving the memories of all our/their firsts (maybe not all-who knows how much time I've got!), the vacation memories, and those special little moments. The hugs, the tickles, and all the "I Love You's" at those special moments.

Oh, s*^t, now I am crying! Gotta go...(damn you, Linda!!;)

demery said...

Your memories have me in tears, Linda. So beautifully written. And the laugh at the end was sweet too :)
Thank you for sharing.

Linda G. said...

"Muffy" -- LOL! That's hilarious -- I love it! And thank you for the earworm. ;)

Patty -- Do you have lots of chocolate and martinis in your life? Maybe we can make a deal. ;)

Karla -- Ha! Well *cough* TG does read my blog. *wink, wink*

Dianne -- Thanks! And, yeah, that's the precept I'm going on. ;)

Jeannie -- Hey, a signing priest would've surprised us just as much. ;) Sorry I made you weepy! But not sorry enough to give you Hugh.

Hallie -- No, don't choke up! Not unless there's some laughter in there somewhere, too. :)

Demery -- Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. :)

Thank y'all so much for reading and commenting. :)


You totally stole my fantasy on that last one, but if you're turning them all down for TG, why don't you send them my way?


Elizabeth Flora Ross said...

Sweet and funny, just like you! I think when it does come down to it, the grandchild moments will indeed be some of your favorites. I so love my parents' joy when they are with my DD.

And, like you, I look forward to seeing my name in print in a bookstore. I actually have before (I self published my first book), but this time will be so much sweeter!

Great post!

Elizabeth Ryann said...

Aww...this is so sweet! Just warm and funny, like a bubbly hot chocolate (um, just go with it)!

I'm looking forward to holding your book in my hands too! Though I intend to win it, of course.

Jessica Lemmon said...

Does this mean that the "Last Breath List" has gone viral? ;)

I love that: "Ohh Craaaap!" ha ha! And your charming and very sweet list.


Linda G. said...

Tawna -- Sorry, but if I can't have 'em all, nobody can! Bwah-ha-hah! #DogInMangerMe

Elizabeth Flora-- I'm guessing you're right. And best of luck with your next book. :)

Elizabeth R -- Mmmm. Hot chocolate. I SO can't wait for cooler weather. And, hey, you can bet if/when my book gets published, I'll be holding all kinds of giveaways. :)

Jessica -- You get all the credit for starting the ball rolling, so thank YOU. :)

Elisabeth Black said...

Wait, this is... sweet?

No really. :)

You know, I stick my finger in the place my book will be when I go into bookstores. I can't remember where I read to do that, but I do it religiously now.

Linda G. said...

Elisabeth -- I like that idea! I'm going to start doing it next time I'm in a bookstore. Visualize it, and it will come! :)