Wednesday, May 26, 2010

This is a stupid post. You can skip it if you want. Though it does contain the words "gigonzo," "ginormous," and "schlong."

THINGS I'VE DONE TODAY TO AVOID WRITING A BLOG POST:

1. Cleaned three toilets.

2. Went to Costco, even though I really didn't need anything. (Not that that stopped me from buying stuff. I mean, gigonzo bag of frozen waffle fries? Come on--who can resist that?)

3. Read a bunch of other people's blogs (and even left comments on some of them). Became depressed when I saw they all had good ideas to write about & I didn't.

4. Cleaned & replaced the soap in the automatic soap dispenser. (Can you stand the excitement?)

5. Did a load of laundry that probably could've waited until tomorrow. (Am feeling kind of guilty about that. Would it have been "greener" to wait for a full load? I suspect so. *sigh*)

6. Pulled my drawer novel out and whimsically cut seven thousand words from it. Then added two. (Not two thousand. Two.)

7. Played around on Twitter.

8. Called my mother & played three games of computer Mahjong while listening to her tell me what terrible gossips old ladies can be.

9. Contemplated repainting my toenails, but ultimately decided peachy-pink was peachy keen for now.

10. Dug out my old copy of THE VALLEY OF HORSES to see if I still like it, and if the parts about Jondalar's ginormous schlong are still embarrassing to read. (They are.)

I was just sure a great blog idea would come to me as I was doing one of those things. Shows how wrong I can be, huh?

Gawd. Stop me before I go iron something!

26 comments:

Susan Adrian said...

STOP. Do you need email, bb?

Linda G. said...

Suze -- YES!! Email me something funny before I go iron TG's summer shirts!

Kelly Breakey said...

Your like the Seinfeld of blog posting...you can make anything sound interesting.

Elizabeth Ryann said...

I think this might be my favoritest post so far.

Elizabeth Flora Ross said...

LMAO! I found this to be a very interesting post! And it's so true. Some days you feel it, some days you don't. For a day you didn't feel it, you wrote some pretty entertaining stuff. ;)

Dianne K. Salerni said...

You had me at "ginormous schlong."

Patty Blount said...

*grins ear to ear*

Karla Nellenbach said...

I wouldnt mind hearing more about #10 ;)

Linda G. said...

Kelly -- Seinfeld is still one of my all-time favorite shows. Which is odd, considering I don't find any of the characters particularly likable. But they're all such entertaining jerks.

Elizabeth R. -- Thanks! So you're easily entertained by the mundane, I take it? ;)

Elizabeth Flora -- Good to know I'm not the only one who feels "off" some days. And thanks! :)

Dianne -- Gee, that's the same thing I told my husband. ;)

Patty -- Thanks for reading. Glad I could make you smile. :)

Karla -- Oh, don't get me started on Jondalar and Ayla! ;)

Elizabeth Ryann said...

Haha, yep. I thought that was made clear by my recent twitter obsession with both sugar and ketchup.

But then, I was entirely creeped out by the entire Clan of the Cave Bear series. Also V.C. Andrews. Yet I don't really have a problem with erotic fiction in general...hmm.

Tammy Gallant said...

Let's see... this week I blogged about insomnia, impending teenage years, and how old I feel after watching videos of guys I used to think were hot. Yep, you did MUCH better blogging than I did. LOL

Tawna Fenske said...

You know what's funny? Seems like every time I'm brain dead for a blog post idea and half-heartedly throw something together, that ends up being one of my most popular ones! :)

I rather enjoyed this (especially the schlong, I must admit).

Tawna

Bill Cameron said...

What's a schlong?

Sierra Godfrey said...

Funny. I found and read your blog yesterday and thought "Cripes. How come I can't manage to think and write clever things like that?"

Linda G. said...

Elizabeth R (that sounds so regal, doesn't it?)-- But sugar? And ketchup? Those aren't mundane. They are sublime!

Tammy -- LOL! I don't think so, but thanks for saying it. :)

Tawna -- Well, you *know* I was thinking of you when I threw in the schlong.

Bill -- um, well, a schlong is a...a nose. It's another way to say "schnozz." Yup, that's what it is all right. Much was written by Auel about Jondalar's over-sized nose. *blink*

Sierra -- Aw, thanks! You are so sweet. Can I keep you? o_o

Patrick said...

I think you are tall.

Julie Weathers said...

Ok, I avoided this because I didn't want to think about schlongs. I'm delicate, like a flower, but this was fun. Good job.

Bill Cameron said...

And here I thought it was something naughty. (For the record, certain Jean Auel anatomical descriptions didn't embarrass me, they just made me feel really inadequate.)

Linda G. said...

Patrick -- You're right. I am in fact 8'6". But I camouflage it well by wearing ballet flats.

Julie -- Hey, didn't you see my explanation to Bill? Delicate flowers such as yourself should appreciate noses. *blink*

Candyland said...

I think cleaning/refilling the soap dispenser sounds like fun!!! Maybe I'm the ginormous schlong:/

Linda G. said...

Bill -- What man wouldn't? Who could possibly live up to, um, Jimmy Durante?

Candyland -- Actually, it was kind of a pain, because the last time I filled it I used the wrong kind of soap, and it got all gunked up. I've learned my soap lesson now--stick with the plain stuff & avoid the kind with the cutesy particle thingamajigs in it.

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

A great post entertains and gets the message across. You score on both counts. There are days to blog and days to let the blog work for you. You did it!

Linda G. said...

Thanks, Kathi! :)

out of the wordwork said...

A post about nothing can sometimes be the post that is the most universal. Honestly - I identified with most of the things on your list (although #1 and #10 I have no life reference to).
Nelsa

Linda G. said...

Hi Nelsa -- Wait. You mean to tell me you've never cleaned a toilet? Whoa. Nice gig if you can get it. ;)

out of the wordwork said...

Linda, if I have I've blocked out the experience due to the trauma. This is why God invented cleaning ladies. 3 kids, full time job - I deserve it.
Plus it's just icky.
Nelsa