Wednesday, April 14, 2010

What kind of poem are you?

Just messing around a little this morning, trying to get my writing motor revved.

First I tried the classic "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"

Easy. A birch. I'm paper white and my skin peels after a sunburn.

But frankly, that barely got my engine running, much less revved.

So I asked myself something a little more writerly: If you were a poem, what kind would you be?

Hmm. First thing that pops to my mind is, of course, a limerick:

There once was a woman so lewd
She liked to write books in the nude,
Much of her text
Was quite over-sexed,
And her mc was far from a prude!

Or, perhaps more apt:

There once was a lady named Grimes
Who tried to amuse with her rhymes.
Some thought them too tame,
And others, just lame,
So now she drinks gin with her limes.

How about a haiku:

I will make you laugh
Come hell or highest water
Here. Pull my finger.

, anyone?

Tender, bawdy
Drafting, revising, laughing
Always happy but never satisfied

And finally, a real challenge. A sonnet:

When in your face with seltzer or fruit pies
I alone decide your ultimate state.
Bother not with weeping or with sighs,
For that will not protect you from your fate.
Slapstick comedy not your cup of tea?
Alas for you, I cannot give a choice.
A subtler form of humor is not me;
I must give answer to a lower voice.
Take heart, and do not wallow in your pain,
Your suffering brings others pure delight,
Think long and hard; I need not be your bane--
Grab some food and join in the fight!
Suck it up, regret you not hereafter;
Sacrifice does wow the gods of Laughter.

How about you? What kind of poem are you? Bonus points if you write one in my comments. :)



OMG, these are fabulous!

I don't have the energy for anything but a haiku this morning, so here you go:

A penis joke, please
Pleads Tawna’s most devout fan.
Fine, Grandma – one more.

I might try again later if I can summon the brainpower for a limerick or sonnet. Nice job with these!


Linda G. said...

Tawna -- LOL! I love yours. And I love your grandma, too--she sounds totally cool. :)

Sean Ferrell said...

I would probably be a cross between an something by Beckett and a dirty limerick:

I would like my love to die
and the rain to be falling on the graveyard
and on me walking the streets
mourning the first and last to love me

Candyland said...

HA! LOVE IT! I'd like to think I'm more of a limerick.

There once was a lass named Candy,
Her fingers were really quite handy,
They typed and they Skyped,
Some called them "just hype,"
But they made her husband quite randy.

Linda G. said...

Sean -- that's quite the mash-up--how very avant garde of you. I love it!

Candyland -- tee-hee! I'll just bet. ;)

Thanks for playing, guys! :)

Angela Perry said...

I see myself as doggerel. Humorous, pointless, and...ooh, a puppy!

A lady named Morgan
Enjoyed a good orange
Her hair like a gorgon
In mornings was oh crap I tried to rhyme orange again

Linda G. said...

Morgan -- ha-ha! I love doggerel. And "orange" will get you every time. I tried to go with tangerine instead once, but didn't have any luck with it, either.

Deborah Small said...

Nice work, Linda. Love it!

Me? I'm a Haiku:

Frazzled writer types
Balancing work and home life
Optimisim abounds


Linda G. said...

Thanks, Deb! And I think yours says it all. Who really has time to be more than a haiku with all that other stuff demanding attention?

Caitlin Whitaker said...

Since no one else is using a cinquain, I'll choose that (which probably says something about me right there, eh?).

Brunette mother
Tweeting silly musings
While mainlining diet soda;

Feel those creative juices flowing! Uh oh, I don't think that's creativity.

Jessica Bell said...

yay, the comments work! I am so a lymerick, so here goes:

There once was a girl named Jess
Who liked to behave like a pest
She'd lick your face
mouth full of toothpaste
then giggle in triumphant jest

Bria Quinlan said...

How about Acrostics?

Bright thoughts
Round her mind
Ink on the page
Adorable stories

abby mumford said...

I'm an ABC poem.

Creating and
Dreaming (of writerdom). It will come true

Linda G. said...

Caitlin -- great cinquain! A biter, huh? Should I be afraid? ;)

AA -- *giggles* I'll be sure not to stand next to you while you're brushing your teeth.

Bria -- love your Acrostic! I'll have to try one of those myself.

mumfusa -- oooh, an ABC poem. I like that too! Wonderful sentiment.

Y'all are great! Thanks for joining in. Hope it got words flowing for you today, too. :)

Cynthia Reese said...

A poet, I am not. Unless it's very much free verse. I still remember the ultimate shame of my high school crush grabbing some (horribly purple and overwrought) poems I'd written ABOUT HIM, and then wanting the floor to open up when he read them aloud to the entire class.

Even now, my face turns beet red.

Nope. Better than I don't think what kind of poem I'd be. Better to enjoy all your nifty ones here!

Linda G. said...

Cynthia -- ah. Early poetic trauma. I understand completely. :)

Jess Tudor said...

I began my writing life as a poet. *heart flutters*

If I had more time, I'd write a villanelle (what a history!) or a traditional Grecian ode, but let's go with the classic Petrarchan sonnet.

This girl though green seeks yet beyond her years;
Some say tries too hard, yet others, earned,
Remains a fault she combats, to be heard:
Writing demands she face down all her fears.

The problem, then, is lack of funny jeers.
She mutters constantly, just use your words,
But always they come serious, she learned.
What help for her? She waits on verge of tears.

But wait, what’s this? her friends unleash her tongue.
They rescue her with impromptu prompts like these:
To po-em out herself, a rhyming harlot frees.
For though she tries, inside she is still young,
And can be reminded, though grudgingly.
Does this mean she gets a cupcake, please?

Linda G. said...

Jess -- Oh, my gosh, how beautiful! You are a real poetry pro. Thanks for sharing that here. :)

kristina said...

I <3 poetry. I do. But I'm also a mess today. SO, found poetry (within eyesight of my laptop no less) in honor of ee cummings I present:

lego vacations ink at a discount!
i am certified in risk and
puzzle ball
does that mean?
member smash-hit style
from the city by the bay
dedicated to helping you we
regret to inform you
hodges' harbrace college handbook of
love you mom! (in crayon no less) membership
information coming soon
thank you for your submission
push for caller id sorry
mailbox full
news research ways to get
go green and save


:) Thanks for the fun break. Now back to my reality...corndogs or pb&js? What will it be?

Linda G. said...

Kristina -- I'm sensing a certain confusion in your poetic perception of self. *grins*

Seriously, love your homage to ee cummings! Thanks for taking a break to play with us. :)

stagemanbob said...

I had to stifle myself during a TV taping. ;-P

Jess Tudor said...

Oooo, found poetry! Fun stuff!

I can't believe I didn't mention it: If you haven't got a copy of Sage Cohen's Writing The Life Poetic, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??

Linda G. said...

Honey Buns! You found me. :) Hope I didn't cause a retake. ;)

LR said...

Ooh how fun, how about an Emily Dickinson:

She writes a query- she chuckles-
Deletes- Erases bold lines of electricity-
Her hopes ripening-
In hopes of glory-

(Linda, do you really write in the nude?)

Linda G. said...

LR -- Love it. Emily Dickinson is one of my favorites. :)

And, no, I don't actually write in the nude, but only because I'm afraid I might accidentally activate the webcam while I'm online researching, and terrify the internet. ;) I took a little creative license with that limerick.

Annie said...

This is irresistible. With apologies for the slant rhymes:

There once was a cad from Ohio,
Who caused a fair lady to sigh-o.
She took her revenge
With a novel she penned,
And now he’s sunk deep in a bayou.

Linda G. said...

Jess -- I'll be on the look-out for Cohen's book. Thanks for the rec. :)

Annie -- how fun! I am partial to limericks, and I love the revenge by book theme. ;)