Friday, December 10, 2010

Grimes' Fairy Tales

When my baby brother (Bam-Bam) was quite small (yes, he will always be my "baby" brother) I used to tell him stories. This is when he was so small that he couldn't even enunciate clearly, so his way of saying "once upon a time" was "ponsa ponsa time."

That's how he's ask for a story. He'd say, "Deta (he couldn't say Linda yet, either), ponsa ponsa time?"

So I would begin all the stories I told him with "Ponsa ponsa time..." and go on from there. The stories were mostly silly tales (hey, this is me -- of course they were silly) starring a little boy who looked suspiciously just like Bam-Bam and who, coincidentally, liked to do all the stuff Bam-Bam liked to do.

After TG and I were married, I used to do the same thing for him. (Hey, we were poor. No cable TV. We had to entertain ourselves somehow.) Of course, "Ponsa Ponsa Time" with TG usually involved R-rated stories, and I rarely made it to the end of one without being...interrupted.

Ponsa Ponsa Time continued with my own kids, of course. Their stories contained a lot of elements from real life -- friends, cousins, grandparents, etc. Toys and stuffed animals magically came to life during Ponsa Ponsa Time. (But not in that freaky-scary way. I'm not stupid -- I didn't want my sleep interrupted by nightmares.)

My daughter especially loved the stories about her adventures with Rainbow the Elephant, based on a teething toy she'd had since babyhood.

[Apparently there is now a book called The Rainbow Elephant. Harumph. This just proves my theory that if you think something, somebody out there will pick it up and run with it.]

Anyway, my Rainbow the Elephant had all kinds of exciting adventures. He often ate -- and loved! -- the very fruits and veggies DD was sure she couldn't stand, thus tempting her into at least trying them.

Huh. Imagine that. *blink*

My son was just happy if his stories had pirates. (Why, yes, since you ask, the pirates did use their cutlasses to chop up various fruits and veggies into tasty, bite-sized bits. Nobody ever said storytellers aren't manipulative.)

 What's that you day? You want Ponsa Ponsa Time story, too? Well, okay. Maybe just a short one.

Ponsa ponsa time...

...there was a Badass Blogger who liked nothing better than to laugh, and make others laugh with her. But one day, as she was wandering through the Great Internet Forest, a troll snuck up on her and stole her laugh.

Now, since she was such a badass, our Fearless Blogger didn't get sad or cry. She got royally pissed off. She chased that troll over hill and dale, from site to site, until she finally caught up with it at the Troll Online Forum, where it was trying to trade her laugh for baby goats, because trolls like nothing better than to eat kids.

WELL. Just as that nasty old troll was about to hand over the stolen laugh in exchange for the cutest kid you ever did see, Fearless Blogger jumped on its back and started tickling its earlobes. (Trolls have very ticklish earlobes.) In two shakes of a goat's tail, that troll let loose a monstrous GUFFAW.

Fearless Blogger grabbed that guffaw and swallowed it WHOLE!

(I know! But Fearless Blogger has kind of a big mouth, and can easily manage such feats.)

The nasty old troll, embarrassed to be shown up in such a way at the Online Trolls Forum, turned red and ran away, vowing to eat only fruits and vegetables from then on, to avoid further humiliation.

Once more in possession of her laughter, Fearless Blogger was no longer PO-ed. In fact, she was ecstatic. She gamboled off with the uneaten kids, giggling happily ever after.

The End

Now go on. Get out of here, and go eat some broccoli. Or a nice banana.

Wait a sec...before you leave, tell me. Have you ever been manipulated by a story? Or used one to manipulate someone else? Inquiring minds want to know. ;)


Unknown said...

I can't wait to have ponsa ponsa time with my nephew!

My stories are written partly to manipulate people - playing with our norms and ideas of how love should be, gender roles not being the one truth etc. One of my first stories in English is from either side of a soldier in war, how they meet and kill each other. It's named "Murderer" to push the idea of what a killer is (much like Acid Row by Minette Walters).

Anne Gallagher said...

Linda that was the best troll story I've ever heard. And I love Ponsa ponsa time Deta. (so cute)

I have only recently tried to manipulate Monster Baby in cleaning her playroom for Santa. It's not working. Maybe I should try a troll.

Elena Solodow said...

Really great post. Me, manipulate? Never.

Summer Frey said...

I can't remember being manipulated, but I do remember my own special story times with my grandmother, who had these stuffed bears with carved wooden faces--a rabbit too. I always was in love with them, and she'd make a tent under the bed covers and tell stories with the animals. Sometimes they'd bring snacks for us (apple slices). I don't think I'll ever forget it.

abby mumford said...

ponsa ponsa time. AMAZING. this is definitely a favorite post.

i don't remember being manipulated by a story and i know if my mom had thought of it, she would have because i was (still sort of am) a picky eater. my uncle was the grand master storyteller and we always wished he would have written his crazy ideas down. what a mind on that guy.

Teri Anne Stanley said...

Once upon a time, there was this totally bewildered mom, who had a baby that cried ALL. THE. TIME. Except when he was in the bathtub with his mom. The mom wasn't very good at making things up on the fly (she's better at writing them down), but she made up a very, very beautiful song called "Taking a Bath With My Mom":

Taking a bath with my mom
Taking a bath in the tub with my mom
It's so keen
Getting Clean
In the tub with my mom

The child grew up and only needed minimal psychotherapy, as he stopped taking baths with his mom when he got grabby. But his love of fine music lives on.

The End

Tara said...

I heart you. Really. I know that's always my comment around here. I can't help it. You're awesome.

demery said...

Love the troll story and ponsa ponsa time. I love to tell my boys stories too - and especially to take a familiar story and add some silly twists and turns... i.e. Papa Bear and Mama Bear don't have separate beds - that would be silly. Instead they have one big bed, but it's a sleep number bed. Papa dials his sleep number bed sooo low that you could feel all the springs. Mama, of course, dials hers up ever so high. It was like sleeping on ply wood. This is why baby bear's cozy bed felt just right.

Lenny Lee said...

hi miss linda! wow what a fun post. i gotta tell you i love that troll story and just before you swallowed that laugh i got a chunk of it and got laughing with you. i hope you have a real fun day.
...hugs and laughs from lenny

Kari Lynn Dell said...

Dammit. Do I have the only kid in the world who never falls for those tricks? His idea of a vegetable is Corn Pops.

Trisha Leigh said...

This was seriously adorable. No one ever told me stories growing up. Maybe that's why I write them. I don't even know what this word 'manipulation' means. How would I? *big innocent eyes*

This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda G. said...

Malin -- Your story sounds really interesting. Hope you enjoy Ponsa Ponsa Time with your nephew! :)

Anne -- Glad you liked my troll story. Good luck with Monster Baby. :)

Elena -- I could tell that just by looking at you. ;)

Summer -- Awww. Your grandmother sounds wonderful. Those memories are so special.

Abby -- Glad you enjoyed it! It must be inspiring to have a grand master storyteller for an uncle. :)

Teri Anne -- Love that song! I used to try to sing to my kiddos, too. Until they got old enough to ask me to stop. (Yeah. I can't carry a tune in a bucket.)

Tara -- Aww, thanks. I <3 you, too. :)

Demery -- Ha! Love that take on the Goldilocks story. Perfect! :)

Lenny Lee -- So glad you enjoyed my troll! Hope you've been having a fun day, too. :)

Kari -- LOL! Well, honestly, it didn't work all that well with my kiddos, either. I could usually get them to try something, but not much of it.

Trisha -- Aw, I'm sorry nobody told you stories. But if that's why you're writing now, I guess it worked out. Oh, and "big innocent eyes" never work on me. ;)

Samuel -- How great that you told your older sister stories! Guess storytelling is something you're born with. :)

Dianne K. Salerni said...

My husband has broadly hinted that he'd like a story written just for him better than anything I could buy him at a store for Christmas.

Needless to say, he is talking about the "Ponsa Ponsa" type of story you used to tell TG.

The only problem is, when relatives ask what I got my husband for Christmas (and they always do), what do I tell them????

Linda G. said...

Dianne -- This is where the "decoy gift" comes in handy. You buy him something innocuous, like a necktie, or CD of his favorite music, or some such. Then the story can be your sexy little secret. ;)

Jennifer Shirk said...

GREAT story! More ponsa ponsa time please. You're a natural. :)

I loved it when my dad would entertain me with stories. it always did the trick if we were waiting at an airport or something.
It was about a dragon who liked to eat chili. I would ask him to tell that story all the time.

Linda G. said...

Jennifer -- Thanks. :) Your dad's dragon story sounds like fun. Bet he enjoyed telling it as much as you did hearing it.