Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Mysteries, Hats, and a Winner!

Photo courtesy of morgueFiles.

Remember the contest? (If not, just read the post right before this one.)

Anyway, thank you to everyone who entered by leaving a comment at Heroes and Heartbreakers, and then came back here to tell me about it. I appreciate your following me over there and reading my *cough* highly scientific explanation of indiscriminate lust.

Through my own Mysterious Alchemy of Winner Selection I've come up with a name.*

The Winner of the Cheap and Tacky (and Possibly, but Not Necessarily, Edible) Prize is...

LD Masterson!!!

L. D., if you'll email me your address at linda(dot)grimes(at)gmail(dot)com, I'll send you your prize. Be sure to tell me if you prefer Cheap and Tacky** or the alternate prize of a signed copy of IN A FIX.  (Granted, some may think they're one in the same. But I prefer to think of IN A FIX as a "bawdy bargain" instead.)

*What? Names in a hat can be very mysterious. For instance, I'm not going to tell you what kind of hat I used. Was it a knit cap lovingly made for me by my DD? TG's patchwork leather hippie hat, a relic from a youth ill-spent in theaters? A collapsible top hat left over from a stage production? My very own old-as-the-hills straw beach hat? Ha! You'll never know. Now, that's mysterious! 

**Notice how I cagily neglected to mention the specifics of the prize. See, that's mysterious too. I'm in a very mysterious mood this morning. Much like Christine Lavin expresses in the following song.

(If you can't/don't feel like listening to it, I've included the lyrics after. But the music really adds to the atmosphere of...well, mystery. Still, I know listening to a song a blogger includes on whim requires a certain time investment we don't all have when plowing through our blog rolls, so I understand if you can't.)

Mysterious Woman

from Good Thing He Can't Read My Mind

Words and Music by Christine Lavin

I want to be a mysterious woman
I want to write mysterious songs
I want everyone to wonder
what is she thinking about?
existentialism? nihilism? wrong
I am thinking about
defrosting my refrigerator
but I could get into mysterious mood
watch me ask the bartender
for a drink he cannot make
watch me order mysterious food
food even Julia Child
cannot pronounce right
from cookbooks that time has forgot
then maybe I will read
Crime and Punishment for fun
then again, maybe not

I want to be a mysterious woman
tantalize you with my come-hither stare
maybe it will work a little better
if you pretend I'm not wearing underwear
If you pretend I was never a Girl Scout
and I never learned how to twirl baton
I feel a mysterious song coming on
I think I hear I scream
I think I hear ice cream
melting all over
the rock hard bread
which is stuck to
the chicken parts
long since dead
they're in a cold box
within a cold box
within a warm box
(which is my room)
there's a ceiling
there's a floor
there's a wall
there's a window
look at the moon
it's a marble, it's a button
it's a sequin, it's a polkadot
stiched into the velvet sky
the pocket of Sir Lancelot
who is riding on Pegasus
who is fighting with the Pleiades
who is fighting Cassiopeia
who is fighting with Hercules
who is fighting with Betelguex
who is fighting with the Milky Way
that is stuck to the Bird's Eye Peas
that is stuck to the ice cube tray
that is stuck to the chicken parts
that is stuck to the rock-hard bread
hey, what am I doing here? I should be home defrosting my refrigerator instead

But I want to be a mysterious woman
I hate being so easy to read
hey, bartender, give me a light yeah, a Bud light
and a plate of pommes frites
is all I need.

Question for you: What's the biggest mystery in your life right now? 

Alternate Question: Are you a fan of the mystery genre?


Patsy said...

My biggest mystery is our kitchen - will it ever be finished? I'm beginning to suspect the answer is 'not in my lifetime'.

Patty Blount said...

Hmmm, I guess the biggest mystery in my life right now is how are the bees getting into my house? They're such crafty little critters, it's hard to locate their entry.

I love the mystery genre but learned I'm not all that good at writing in it. My first whodunit, a YA murder mystery called PENALTY KILLER, was popular with my son's seventh grade friends, but everyone who read it figured out the killer by chapter 2.

I never attempted the genre again.

Carol Kilgore said...

Big fan! Mystery is the basis of everything I write. My biggest mystery at this very moment is wondering what I'm going to eat for breakfast. Seem to be out of brownies :)

Diane Henders said...

What a fabulous song! I love it on so many levels. :-)

Ah, I want to be a mysterious woman... what would you say if I told you I'm living in fear of the 46 explosive devices planted in my basement?

It's true. I bottled my cider, and I'm hoping I didn't put too much sugar in the mix. The biggest mystery in my life right now is whether the final fermentation will blow the bottles. :-)

LD Masterson said...

I won! Wow. How cool is that? I'll send that e-mail as soon as I'm done here. Thanks!

Love mystery? Of course. That's what I read and that's what I write. Biggest mystery in my life right now? Sophie. Our little rescue girl has more quirks and fears than any dog we've ever had. Hard to help her through them without knowing the history. (What would make a dog afraid of it's own water bowl?)

Al said...

My biggest mystery is how to solve a plot problem without making my WIP historically inaccurate.

Judy,Judy,Judy. said...

My mystery right now is very boring. How to get through a night of work without losing it because my coworkers are all in an uproar about nothing?

Maybe I'll just keep thinking about this song.