Now, that's stinkin' funny!

So, a friend* shared this with me. Can't imagine why she thought I'd be amused...

Okay, okay. I am amused. Fart references are inherently funny. Ask any ten-year-old boy. 

No doubt we decorous (stop laughing!) women of a certain age are supposed to be above this kind of vulgarity. But (heh-heh, I said bu--never mind), seriously? Anything that provides a good laugh without hurting anyone's feelings is all right by me. 

If the painting above is too subtle to inspire a raucous enough release for you, there's always createfarts.com, where you can not only customize your own personal expulsion, but you can also email it to a friend! Or a perhaps a cherished family member. Or to someone whose opinion differs from your own, like that agent or editor who didn't appreciate your genius.**  

May your Hump Day be full of raucous expulsions! (Of laughter, people. Laughter.) 

*Name withheld to protect her decorousness (decorosity?), though she may choose to reveal herself in the comments. 

**Not really recommended. The publishing circle is relatively small, and word gets out. 

Mini-poll:

A. Farts are hilarious!
B. I pretend not to enjoy fart jokes, but laugh on the inside.
C. Farts are a part of nature best ignored.
D. Discussing farts is offensive and I will never visit this blog again.
E. I'm choosing "E" because it doesn't contain that offensive word.

Waiting for Candy!

Don't you just know this guy is stretching out those lips in hopes of something sweet?

Andrew Butko [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Last week I ran a little caption contest. (Click here to see the entrants' caption offerings.) 

All the entries were great! It was a tough decision. I finally had to go with the one that made me giggle with its touch of naughty language. (What can I say? I may have grown up, but my sense of humor retains a certain, um, juvenile Je ne sais quoi.)

Here's the winner:

*Drum roll*

"We'll play later," she said. Right.

I wouldn't have busted my hump if I'd known the bitch was talking about Hide and Seek.

So, Susan Swiderski, stretch out those lips, 'cuz your candy is coming! (Well, as soon as you email your snail mail address to linda(dot)grimes(at)gmail(dot)com.)

Congrats, Susan! And thanks to everyone who took the time to think up a caption. :)

And to everyone, a Happy Hump Day! 

Caption this Lazy Camel & Win CANDY!

What is this poor dromedary*--who can't be bothered to stand--thinking? 

I'd caption it myself, but I have a To Do list as long as Rapunzel's hair to get through today. So I'm counting on you. 

Come on. You know you want to entertain me! 

Okay, candy. You want candy. Have you tried Trader Joe's chocolate covered Sea Salt Butterscotch caramels? 

Yowzers. These things are GOOD. Addictive, really. (No, I'm not being paid to endorse these things. Though if Trader Joe's somehow got the notion to up and send me a case of them, I wouldn't turn it away.)


Caption contest will close Tuesday, April 1, at noon Eastern Daylight Time. Winner to be announced next Wednesday (Apr. 2). Contest open wherever the USPS will let me send candy. 



*Photo credit goes to my darling daughter. Thanks, sweetie!

P.S. TG just asked me if I'd seen the "Shared Notes and Highlights" section of the Amazon Kindle page for In a Fix. (Just click on the link & scroll down to get to it.) Apparently when you read on a Kindle you can share your thoughts (or, in this case, your favorite quotes) with other readers by highlighting them as you read. Um...interesting selections, is all I can say. Well, that and I sincerely hope my mother doesn't scroll down. ;) 

Okay, now put on your thinking caps and caption that camel!